One

There is one
I never want to forget ....
and yet
he is one
I have never met

The one
who makes me strive
more than I can strive
and bear
more than I can bear

I pray The One God
will love, guide and protect
this very one
and I pray for these, Oh Lord (Allah swt)
even in my death

A Reply

And someone replies ....

The face may say
a thousand lies
but the heart could not

We will still smile ...
for its priceless
and free .......

A Smile that withers .....

Alas .... a smile from the heart
received,
returned
with scorn and hate ...
til the smile withers
and in its place
there are tears ...........

Am I Evil ???

Evil ??
Nope .... It seems I am not evil
Alhamdulillah.

Admit it — sometimes you'd rather avoid face-to-face conflict
Err .... OK, I admit.
Whats wrong with that ??
We're guessing that every person you've ever met has taken advantage of you in some way
Duh ???
What on earth are you getting at ???

And The advice :-
Sometimes it's healthy to punch a pillow, crush a bug, or turn down a request to drive a friend to the airport. Not only is a little black-heartedness normal, it's also (gasp!) fun.

Hemm ..... So I should go punch a pillow, crush a bug & turn down a request for help ??? And that is suppose to make me feel good ???
Excuse me .... Hello ..... can't I just go scream in the toilet ???

Oh Dear ... I don't think this therapy is working

Prinsip

Prinsip Rukunnegara adalah ... Huh ??
Eh .. eh ...eh... Tak lah bukan nak cakap pasal Rukunnegara .....
Err...
Pertama kali terpaksa menghafal Rukunnegara semasa di Sekolah,
jadik "leader" semasa ikrar di tengah-tengah perhimpunan.
Saya bukan pengawas sekolah pun ... terkejut badak saya dipilih
mengetuai ikrar. Duh ?? Biar betul ni ?? Punyalah menghafal bagai nak rak ... tensiyon je ... bacanya alahai tak sampai 5 minit dah habis.
Sekarang ni ??? Hemm ...

Aduhai ... dah melalut lak
Yang sebenarnya, saya nak cakap pasal saya kagum dengan orang yang punya prinsip hidup
dan berpegang kpd prinsip hidupnya sekalipun diancam "bangkrup"
atau diancam nyawanya atau diancam "masuk penjara"
atau seribu satu ancaman yang lain.
Pokoknya ... manusia yang berpegang pada prinsip hidup dan tidak goyah
dalam menempuhi cabaran, memang saya sanjungi & saya jadikan sumber motivasi saya.
DAN siapakah orang itu ???
Allah tahu !!!

Responsible, Accountable, Whatever ...ble???

Yes, I will be responsible for the life choices that I have made.
Yes, I will be held accountable for the outcomes resulted from these choices
I will bear whatever it is that i have to bear.
I will endure and persevere.
I have faith that Allah listens to my cries & for every cry unto Him,
I will listen to His call & seek His guidance.
I believe in Him & I am very sure that He will not let me go astray.
In my heart this feelings that I feel inside & I have kept within me, He knows
it well.
Whatever it is ... let it be for the sake of Allah.
Whatever I do, whatever I feel, let it be for the sake of Allah, not misguided by nafs, & not for worldly benefits. Insya Allah , Amin.
So whatever .... ble !!!

Err.... somehow the song fr OAG keeps playing in my brain :-
"Kau selalu bertanya tanya ke mana destinasi, destinasiku ....."
Short-term destination : Going back to KL tomorrow coz my SIL just came back fr Melbourne,Australia. Ok ... correction ... she's back for the holiday. Married to an Australian so she is currently living in Australia.
Yang kureng enak tu .... the cuddle-cuddle part
I tak biasa la nak cuddle-cuddle. Cuddle anak sendiri boleh la
I don't mind cuddling my SIL though, just not comfy with cuddling her hubby & sons.
Aiyo ... gimana nih. The last time, I did my "disappearing act". Not sure if it will work again this time.
Semoga Allah memberi aku jalan keluar. Amin.
Longterm destination : Nun di sana .. di mana airmata tidak akan mengalir lagi.

Rindu Puisi

Aku rindu sekali
rindu membaca puisi
karya Sang Hang Tuah yang menghilangkan diri
kerna kesibukan menutup waktu terluang
walau telah berjanji
akan melakar puisi di pinggir cakrawala
buat aku baca tatkala gundah
agar hati nan lara kembali riang

May I Come Home ???

Can I come home ??
I don't want to stay here anymore
I just want to go home ......

I know I'll be punish
I know it will hurt extrremely bad
but I would rather be there than here
everything is falling apart here
it is sooo disappointing
please let me come home
I just want to go home ...........

Look alikes / Pelanduk Dua Serupa ???

Someone says, for every face that you see on this earth, there are 7 look alikes of such a face
or what the malays say "pelanduk dua serupa"
This means that for each of us, there are 6 other people, somewhere on this earth, who look like us.

Therefore for every compliment that one receives on his/her good looks, he/ she actually has to share it with 6 other people.
And so .... for you who thinks you're the Most Beautiful person on earth .... go eat your heart out,
coz you're actually sharing that title with 6 other persons all over the world .....
ha ha ha ......

Seclusion

I have stop crying
for it won't bring back what I have lost
it won't wash away my pains
it won't heal my wounds
so I'll keep my tears to myself
I'll cry in seclusion

I'll pick up the pieces
step outside and move on ........
I set my mind on my final destination
where tears will never flow
filled with the glorious of glory
and only Allah knows

"And when My servants ask thee concerning Me,
Lo! I am close (to thee and them)
I hear the cry of every crier when he cries unto Me ........ "
(Al-Qur'an : 2: 186)

7 Petala Langit dan Bumi

"7 petala langit dan bumi", I've heard that somewhere .....
Lets see .... we have atmosfera, stratosfera, mesosfera, troposfera, (not necessarily in that order) apa lagi ye ??
Then we have kerak bumi, mantel, teras luar, teras dalam, lagi ???
Oh dear .... my science is getting sooo rusty
The scientists just discovered the two layers in deep sea as mentioned in the Holy Qur'an, recently so I'm sure someday they'll find those missing layers of langit dan bumi.
Wallahualam.
Actually what I want to know is when you look up in the sky what do you see ??
The blue sky ???
Blue sky and birds flying ??
Blue sky, birds flying, clouds ??
Blue sky, birds flying, clouds and the sun ???
Blue sky , birds flying, clouds, the sun and the moon ???
Some people see things as is , ie. just what's in front of them .... some people see things beyond
Sometimes Allah lets you see things others do not see, even though you try to tell them about it
they would not understand. All we can do is try to make people understand.
If they don't, then there is only that much you can do.
Leave the rest to Allah swt.
"And to your Lord (Alone) turn all (your intentions and hopes) your invocations"
Surah AlInsyirah : 94 :8

"And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allâh will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allâh has set a measure for all things."
Surah 65 : 3

The most important thing is The Prophet pbuh. had said , " the action dearest to Allah Most High is love for Allah's sake and hatred for Allah's sake"
narrated by Abu Daud

Thus whatever I do, it must be for Allah's sake ...
And so for Allah's sake ,
even when they're not giving enuff and they're taking too much
even when they've got nothing at all and they're ready to fall
even when they're not there for me, I'll always be there for my frens .............
Demi Allah, wahai sahabat, I'll never give up on our frenship

If You Don't Mean It ... Shut Up !!!

I'm getting tired of people who likes to say things without meaning it.
I mean some people can say things offhandedly, they don't even realise the impact.
I know most of the time it is out of habit.
For example when someone says,"pliz pray for me", the habitual respond is to say, "I'll pray for you" without actually meaning it.
I mean they're just saying that they'll pray but they don't actually do it.
They don't even realise that they are actually saying they're going to do something
which they have no intention of doing.
And for the person who is asking them to pray .. it is giving him/her false hope
To me ... if you're not going to do the things you say you're going to do, you might as well shut up
When you say something, mean it !!!
When I say something I meant it ... if I say I'll pray for my fren it means I pray for him/her
after & during every Solat ... Solat Subuh, Dzohor, Asar, Maghrib & Isya' & if I perform my Solat Hajat, I would include him/her in my Hajat too.
If I know I can't do the things I've been requested to do ... either I'd say I can't or
I"ll try (which means I'll really try) or I'd simply Shut up
C'mmon Man, don't give people false hopes & say things you don't mean.
Its frustrating to the person who is hoping.

Also ... I'm disappointed with people who " yek-yek " here, "yek-yek" there
but when you tell him/her why don't you "yek-yek" through the proper channel so action can be taken .... he/she suddenly backs off. And you're like Huh ???
Don't you want these people to act on your "yek-yeks" ???
Ayo .... you just want to "yek-yek" ah ???
Next time warn me la .... so I can plug my ears.
And I got into trouble for reporting.... Aduhai !!!

Aisyah's Project

For the love of me ....... ahaks.

Travelling Alone

After so many years of not travelling alone, I find myself having to do so recently. I didn't like the idea but with an advice fr a fren, (Thank you so much my fren) I know I just have to go through it & it wouldn't be that bad ....

Sunday :-
The bus was suppose to come at 10.00 am .... it came at 10.40 am. And I thot they got over this problem years ago ...... tak reti-reti lagi nak ikut schedule
I also thot that this bus was supposed to go direct Pekan to KL but it went to Kuantan first, to get more passengers. Finally at 11.50am, barulah betul-betul bertolak ke KL
Arrived in KL at 4.00pm, my niece came to pick me up. I could have taken a taxi or bus to my mom's but nope .... my niece insisted she'll pick me up.
When I reached my mom's place, everyone started bombarding me with the "why" question, why are you here, why are you alone etc...etc...etc. Hemm.....
I guess because I'm the smallest of the 4, everyone was extra protective.... all the "what if"s
seemed to be dancing in their brains. The KL horror story kind of "what if"s
But clearly, everyone were excited that I came home alone ...... HeHeHe

Monday :-
My two elder sisters accompanied me to Wisma SSP as my moral supporters. As it turned out the test was Ok. I was given an article and I was supposed to translate it into Malay.
Ok ..Ok .... it was easy. I just don't want to put my hopes high in the sky because I still may not get the job. I am praying hard for it though, so hard like "pliz, pliz, pliz , my life is on the line here."
Err ... ok my life is not on the line but it sure feels like it.
I had a bad headache so my sister treated me to reflexology. Lega sikit .... tapi sikit je la
Of course I didn't tell her that ... kang dia bawak pergi hospital lak kang
Malamnya pergi Jayajusco to find something for Aisyah & Zahra

Tuesday :-
Since we didn't really get to talk much, my mom decided to come along when my sister sent me to the bus station in Puduraya. Bus was supposed to leave KL at 11.00 am, it left at 11.15
Bila sampai di Pekan, I called my mom to tell her, "Ina dah sampai" tapi emak tak sihat ..... I knew she shouldn't be there with all those dust & jalan jauh pulak tu.
Called my sister & told her Mak tak sihat. She said she had reduced her speed 85%, takut emak semput.
But a mother is a mother, it does not matter how old you are ... she wants to be there for you, no matter what. You may be 40, to her you're still 4

Aisyah :-
On Sunday, she called me every one hour since I got on the bus in Pekan til she went to sleep at 10.00 pm. Sometimes, tak sampai satu jam pun dia dah telefon balik.
On Monday, she called me every hour fr the time she came home fr KPAFA, again til she went to sleep. In fact on both nites, I had to talk to her on the phone as she fell asleep.
On Tuesday, she called me when she came back fr sch to check " Ibu kat mana sekarang ??"
So when she came back fr KPAFA, she might as well be flying, tak sabar-sabar nak turun dari kereta utk dapatkan ibu.

Zahra :-
The times she called me were to say, " Ibu, Aisyah nangis" so I had to remind her of her role as elder sister. Tolong pujuk Aisyah, tolong jaga Aisyah & tolong peluk Aisyah.
She didn't like the latter. She does not like to be hug by anyone else but me and she does not like hugging anyone else but me. Lucky me, right ???
I even have the sole right to read her diary. HeHeHe

My other children :- Hajar & Sulaiman didn't know about the trip. Shuib called me just before I left, though he did not say it, it was like he was afraid I wud be leaving for good. I assured him I'd be coming back on Tuesday. :-)

O' Allah who knows me best , who understands me .... who knows my future
and what it brings ... please bless us with the best for this world and the hereafter.
If this job only brings me the best in this world but not in the hereafter then I do not want it.
Ya Allah lindungilah aku dan sahabatku serta kurniakanlah kami taufik dan hidayah
agar kami sentiasa berada di dalam naungan cahaya Mu. Amin