Kubur

Years ago when I saw the malay movie Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup
I criticised the mother ... like "Alah ... takkkan pasal tu pun nak merajuk sampai sanggup kena telan dgn Batu Puaka"
Now that my own life is going topsy turvy I have begun to understand how she must have felt.
So ya .... sometimes I felt so disappointed & sad that I wished the earth would just open
up & swallow me ...... like take me away GOD, let them live without me, its better for them if I'm gone
But I do realise that until I have completed my duty as khalifah on this earth, it won't be my time to leave. Just like the prophet .... only when the addeen is completed was he called away.
Even so, not directly after his duty was completed but a few days later .... so he had time with his family & frens before it was finally the time.
Since I'm no special person ... I will not know when ..... so I have to keep preparing myself
and I don't even know if my preparations are accepted.
Its odd though that sometimes I get premonitions about losses within the family.
I thot it was my "warning" then as it turns out .... its someone else's, hubby's cousin
my BIL's brother ... wonder if ALLAH will allow me to have premonitions if
its my own ...........
Past few days I keep seeing a face I've never seen since my uncle died. We are not close
because she stays in JB while the entire family either live in KL or Selangor.
Like my late uncle who chose to "merantau" & stayed in JB, I am now "merantau" &
staying in Pekan
I used to say I was born in KL, grew up in KL .... & will die in KL, insyaALLAH.
Now I have to say.... I was born in KL, grew up in KL but I don't know where I'll die
My late uncle came back to KL when he was very ill ... managed to meet him & apologised before he passed away a few days later. He was buried in KL.
When I was a teenager I told my frens (while talking about how we picture our future) I've never pictured myself living to be an old granny .... & I told them that I'd probably die alone without a grave.
Recently while the road construction workers were working on expanding the
Kuantan - Pekan road, some workers found 2 graves of a brother & sister.
I wonder what was the story behind their death & why were they buried there in that secluded area.
It would be sad to die alone & without a grave ...
But .... siapa yg nak datang ziarah kubur jauh-jauh kat Pekan ni ???
Lebih baik tak de kubur .... tak menyusahkan org nak "jaga"