My Life is NOT for ME

As usual I say something & then I got Smack!!!
Reminded .....
Ya Allah maafkan aku ...
My purpose here is NOT for me ...
it's for contributing towards a better community ... even if it's an eCommunity
among people I may never meet.
Today .. all of a sudden I received a number of TQ mails.
In fact yesterday sempat chat dgn a sister who says our chats "menyejukkan hati" dia
Alhamdulillah ..
Ya Allah jauhkanlah aku dari ujub & riak
dan izinkanlah aku terus berbakti ..... mudah-mudahan aku dapat bertemu ENGKAU dgn wajah yg berseri. Amin.
AND my biggest Thank You to Ieda ... for this one :-
YES !!! .. As long as we have frenship
each day is never a waste !!!

Entah Kenapa???

Never thot I'd ever come to this. 4 years ago not being online would be like SSSOOO BORING!!!
Today ???
If not for the sms I received stating : "Just emailed the link for Job Project XXX" I'd be like ... aduhai .. malasnya nak beronline-online
I can work offline but it wud be difficult because sometimes they'd be talking about things that made me go ... Duh?? What is that ?? .... like when they were talking about cars..
Gee, guys do love cars so much don't they.....
Well, I had to browse for info on car engines
STILL ... don't ask me about it now coz I don't really understand
just like I still don't understand what offside means in a football game
I just watch the game & join hubby go, "GOAL !!!"
Do I like or admire the footballers?
I only know Zinedine Zidan but he has retired
Now I know Thierry Henry.
Actually most of the time, me & hubby support diff teams/person.... like he supports McLaren while I support Ferrari (F1), he supports Federer I support Nadal (tennis)
but we both support the William sisters (tennis) & Tiger Woods (golf)
Anyway ... back to the issue ... it's no longer fun to be online
And I don't really know what to say or write about anymore ....

Blessed By HIS Love .....

Sketsa 1
*********
"Ibu buat apa?"
"saving this ant from drowning"
"Huh??"
"Tadi semut ni jatuh dalam air, jadi ibu selamatkan dia .. ni ibu nak keringkan air tu daripada badan dia ... so hopefully it will move again" (I was blowing softly at the ant)
Lo and behold ..... the ant started moving ... "Alhamdulillah" (dalam hati duk berdoa semoga Sang Semut menjadi teman yg menyelamatkan Ina di akhirat nanti .. insyaAllah)
"Ibu ni macam wonder pets la"
"Huh??"
Hemm .. Wonder Pets pun Wonder Pets lah ...

If only I have the ability to save every life that's in pain, I would, insyaAllah

Lesson 1 :-
********
Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) said:
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said,"When one of you supplicates, let him be decisive and he should not say: `O Allah, bestow upon me such and such if You wish, because no one has the power to compel Him."
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim] - Riyad Us-Saliheen (Gardens of the Righteous)
Commentary: One should pray to Allah will full confidence that He will answer his prayers. One should also persist in praying and never give in to despair.

Lesson 2 :-
************
Beware of pride, for no deed will be accepted if it is accompanied by pride. Be humble in your Salah. Should any of you stand in Salah before his Rabb, he should know Allah, in his heart by the great blessings which He bestows upon him and the abundant favour which He grants him, for Allah has honoured him with great goodness, but he has saddled himself with sins. Therefore it is incumbent upon him to be excessive in his humility and meekness towards Allah.

###########################################################

With these knowledge Allah had granted me ...
I pray ... decisively yet humbly
for my own green patch & my own glass slippers ....
I do not want to be in other people's shoes for they do not fit me
and I do not want to be on other people's greener grass patch for they are not mine .....
I have faith in Allah swt ..
I am blessed with HIS love & mercy ....
And so I must give whenever I am given, love where I am loved
in the name of Allah, Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim, Rabbal alamin

Aduhai ....

Actually ... tgh bengang ni
Malam tadi nak tanya Si Pak We tu tapi balik dari masjid dia keluar lagi
By the time dia balik, Ina dah mengantuk .... so akhirnya tak cakap apa-apa
Pagi tadi ???
Pagi tadi Ina tak ada mood ....
Hari ni sepatutnya pergi bandar beli tudung Hajar ...
Hemm ... ni kang kalau telefon sure dia marah. Mesti dia tak bagi pergi sendiri.
Masalahnya susu pun dah habis ....
Pergi esok ?? sebelum Hajar balik ke asrama ??
Ina malas betul kalau membeli dalam keadaan tergesa-gesa
kalau tak boleh memilih betul-betul .. balik mesti ada je yg tak kena
Hajar perlukan tudung tu utk pakai masa prep ... tudung yg ada dah senteng
Kesian dia nanti kena denda pulak .......
Aduhai ............
Tgh-tgh bengang ni memang tak ada mood nak buat kerja .......
So ... Ina pakat dgr lagu je .... ni lagu kegemaran masa di TKC ... me & Lela selalu nyanyi dalam kelas in between lessons .. hahaha
InsyaAllah next yr our reunion ... tak sabar nak jumpa geng lama

Peace to the World !!!

Cerita Pokemon pun suruh kita berhenti bergaduh ........

Brother My Brother
tell me what are we fighting for
We got to end this war
(isn't life worth so much more) ....
We should love one another
oo .. can't we just pretend
this war never begin
We can try (Tell me why ).... Brother My Brother




Kenapa manusia suka bergaduh ???

Ya Allah, tunjukkanlah kebenaran agar mereka berhenti menabur fitnah.
Tunjukkanlah kebenaran agar dunia kembali aman & anak-anak bisa hidup tanpa ketakutan
Kasihan pada anak-anak yang tidak berdosa ....

Kesal

Sebenarnya saya nak cepat .. jadi saya capai tuala dan gunakan tuala itu utk menutup kepala saya.
Lepas tu saya keluar untuk angkat kain dari ampaian di depan rumah.
Tak sangka pulak ada pemerhati ... (sambil lalu)
Sebenarnya dah beberapa kali saya nampak jiran saya ni mencuri pandang
Alahai .. kesalnya
Memang salah saya ........
I should have taken the time to perfectly cover myself ....
Tuala tu memang tidak memadai ... sebab ... juraian hujung rambut masih kelihatan
May be it's time to cut my hair .......
Hemm ...
2 inches shorter ???
Sayang pulak ...
Dah lama saya bela sampai panjang mengurai macam sekarang
Bukan senang tau nak bela rambut panjang
Tapi memandangkan saya selalu keluar rumah secara tergesa-gesa, pakai capai tuala je ...
tuala tu cukuplah nak tutup kepala saya kalau rambut ni 2 inci lebih pendek ...
Err ... ya .. OK ... i know ... rambut is not the only aurat

Our Vision

This morning someone called me .."Cikgu ..."
Hemm ... it's been a long time
Rasanya dah berzaman meninggalkan profession perguruan.
Kebetulan pulak masa dia panggil tu saya tengah berangan tentang maahad ...
Sebenarnya dah lama tanam angan-angan tu ... sebelum baca kisah Amy Search buka Maahad Tahfiz di Pontian, Johor lagi kami dah berangan nak bina MT di Aspa Cottage
Baru-baru ni terserempak dengan Encik Rahim, jiran di AC.
Bila dia buka mulut nak bina Rumah Anak Yatim, suami pun buka mulut tentang MT.
Apalagi ... suka sangatlah mereka ... memang satu idea yg baik
RAY & MT bersebelahan ...
Lagipun bolehlah suami berhenti kerja dgn Boss yg selalu buat dia bengang
dan aku juga boleh bantu dengan menggunakan pengalaman aku sebagai guru dulu
Bila Sulaiman dah ada kelulusan, dia juga boleh memainkan peranan
Cuma .. masalahnya .. modal
Mudah-mudahan Allah swt memberi kami jalan .........

Dan aku ... boleh terus berangan ...
Ni tgh berangan nak bawak budak-budak MT gi rombongan
Wei la wei .... jauhnya la angan-angan aku .. MT nya pun tak wujud lagi .. Ish Ish Ish ....

Sahabat Maya Part ???

Dari Suriani Mohamad :-

Biarkan dia pergi tanpa kata tamat
Tetap tertanam di dalam nya satu kenangan
Antara kita dan dia..
Walau padanya kita hanyalah sekadar angin lalu
Namun senyumlah ..

Angin inilah yang pernah bertiup di pipi nya
Angin inilah yang pernah menghembuskan rembasan tawanya
Angin inilah yang menghulurkan bahu untuk esaknya

Dan ingatlah..
Pada suatu masa kan datang ..
Ada ketikanya..
Dia kan berkata..
’’Kenapa mesti aku membiarkan .. segalanya menjadi seperti itu..’’
Walhal..
’’sepatutnya ada lagi cara yang lebih berakal dan tidak mengikut nafsu’’

My reply :-

Ya ... saya biarkan mereka pergi
walau hati saya teramat pedih
pesanan dan teguran darinya tetap menjadi pegangan
"rectify, reproof, repent"
bukan sekadar kenangan

Aku titip salam buat sahabatku di angin lalu
aku iring doa buatnya di setiap solatku
Moga dilindungi dan dicintai Allah pada setiap detik waktu

Wahai sahabat,
andai ada waktu terluang
bila-bila kamu sudi
sapalah aku di sini

Masih waras ..

Sebenarnya saya masih waras
waras aka sihat sejahtera
also waras aka mentally sound ... hehehe
Saya tahu diri ... insaf ... mahassabah diri selalu
sentiasa mengaca aka tengok muka kat cermin
Tahu .. saya memang tak cantik !!!
bukan orang yang baik .... selalu berbuat silap
BUT at least I try to be a better person
AND i know semua yang ada di dunia ini adalah hak Allah swt
kerna itulah kepada DIA saya meminta ...
"Ya Allah, Aku mohon dengan sangat, etc..etc..."
Ehh .. mana boleh tulis kat sini ... doa saya adalah rahsia antara saya dengan DIA
Semoga Allah swt memakbulkannya. Amin.
Ni ... buat memulihkan hati ... ingat Allah swt selalu : Kehidupan by Nazrey & InTeam

Dedicated To My Children

Dedicated to my children who loves me ......

Mentally Emotionally SICK ???

I admit I'm passionate when it comes to my family & frens
may be too passionate for some people to understand.
But to say I'm "sick" IS extreme ............

I don't expect people to understand me
especially when they don't know the inside story ...
and I don't exactly tell people my story
even if I do share with frens who I trust
or some, publicly at a yahoogroup ... the public story is only just 30% of the whole story
& my frens probably get 80% or less
(I hardly share with my own family .. it can only make things worse!!!)
Point is .... there are things you will NEVER share
except with Allah swt.
So only Allah swt knows the whole truth
Well, actually HE knows more than 100% coz HE knows you inside out
HE knows the things you let out or show & the things you hide in your heart.

SIGH !!! I don't want to be bothered by this any more ....
JUDGE me all you people want ...............
I'll STILL do things because I WANT to ... NOT because people expects me to

Cinta hakiki .... I've got it ... Alhamdulillah
Cinta insani .... I have my children & sisters who love me ... THATS good enough !!!
SO WHAT if other people ( family & frens) can't be bothered whether I'm dead or alive .....
I STILL believe that just because they stop bothering does not mean I have to stop caring ...
Allahualam

Tentang Aku

Kadang-kadang susah betul nak terangkan pada orang
ada saja yang buruk sangka
yang salah faham ....
Kadang-kadang lebih baik diam
Tapi kadang-kadang makin kita diam makin "cantik" pulak cerita rekaan mereka.

Ni akhir-akhir ni ... dapat "intrusion alert" lak
Tak de kerja ... asyik nak mengacau ketenteraman orang je
Apa yang nak sibuk sangat nak mengintip "harta" org
You want to read my diary ???
Go ahead ... read it ... may be you'll learn something from there
If you think you can get juicy stories ...
SORRY ... NOT from me ....

Bulan dan bintang bersinar berkelipan akan menerangi keindahan malam
tanpamu bulan malam kegelapan, tanpamu bintang hilanglah keindahan
Ini kisah tentang bulan .. bulan bintang jadi kawan
begitulah persahabatan yang cuba kami eratkan
moga berkekalan selamanya ....
begitulah kami hidup lima sekawan
sesama berjanji susah senang dirasa
di bawah sinaran cahaya bulan bintang

Ggrrr....

Sedang marah ...
I won't say much more ....
AAArrrgggghhhhh !!!

Oo... I'm driving my life away
looking for a better way FOR ME
Oo.. I'm driving my life away
looking for a sunny day ....

Dateline To Catch

Nothing beats the adrenaline rush when you have a dateline to catch ....
It's like going for the 100 m dash
Although I'm no athlete, I used to love doing that during school days.
But my favourite was the hurdles ... it's like the 100m dash + obstacles.
While everyone was busy running 100m, 200m, 400m & relays,
I was on my own doing hurdles ...
Once my House Captain saw me ..
She was trying to teach an Indian girl the technics of jumping the hurdles & I heard her say,
"Did you see how the Chinese girl jump the hurdles .... thats how you do it"
There was no one else there but us ... so she was talking about me
Do I look Chinese ?
I don't think so ....
BUT I hung out with my chinese frens more than my malay frens so thats probably why she thot I'm chinese.
School days back then, it didn't matter what colour skin you have or what religion.
These days .. everything becomes political agenda.
Went to MidValley & for the first time sat & ate at the food court there.
I sat at a table where on the other end was a Chinese family.
Started talking to the daughter, it seems she's the only one who can speak Malay ( besides the children) .. we started complaining abt what else ... "Ayyo ... SSoo expensive la ... one plate like this already XXX ringgit ... yours how much ?"
HeHeHe .... boleh tanya-tanya lak makanan orang
And ya ... we were talking Rojak language just like the Rojak we ate .....
Wish I can do that more often .....

Not In The Mood

OK ... that is OVER & DONE !!!
I've said what I wanted to say .... whether my frens believe in me or not, it's up to them. Yang penting I've said it : I'm NOT a fren in need.
I'll be there whenever they need me ... or at least, I'll try to be there whenever they need me in person BUT I'll always be there in spirit & thru the net, emails & phones ... a world without border.
I may be the weakest person on earth or the most "negative" BUT when the need comes
for it, believe me, I can be the strongest.
I've been thru it so I know my limits ....

Anyway, I'm getting myself together & today I'm SOO not in the mood .......
I mean I'm not in the mood for any more emotional draining stuffs ..
and when I'm like this ... I love to do the crazy stuffs
stuffs you may never think i'd do .....
Go ahead ... join me ... Dance to the rhythm, Mate .....

TRUE FREN ???

For my frens who need a shoulder to lean on ... I'm here ...
You CAN lean on me

You will NEVER be a burden for me ....
You can always share your problems with me ....


And if ever there comes a time I get sick of your whining
I'd probably tell you to "GET UP!!!" .... "CHEER UP!!!" ... "Let's Go Make A Difference!!!"

There are times when we all need to choose to either quit or follow thru
to just lose faith or trust your heart
to somehow lead you thru the dark
We may need help to carry on ....
we might even be lonely
We may be different
But we are NOT alone .....
AND someone's always there behind .. to catch us when we fall ...... OUR TRUE FREN !!!

I'll SHUT UP!!!

Ok .. I'll listen to myself more
Talk to myself more ... I mean talk to Allah swt more.
I'll build my world around ME.

I thot I need frens who would reprove me when I make mistakes
who would "kick" me & make me pick myself up
who would "hit" me on my head & say "STOP IT!!!"
who would encourage me to move on & be more positive
who would stand by me .....

WHO on this earth does not need frens???

If I'm whining & making people sick ... just tell me to "SHUT UP !!!"
Tell me & I WILL shut up ... I WILL stop
I apologise for making you people sick .............

Toy Soldiers

Actually baru lepas tengok satu dokumentari di Astro OASIS on drugs.
Hari tu masa Perkampungan Hadhari di Pekan pun I visited the booth by PEMADAM.
It's pretty disturbing to see the New Age Drugs.
There's one type yg rupanya macam stickers je.
May Allah swt. protect my families drp terjebak atau dianiaya oleh org sehingga terjebak. Nauzubillah.
Ya Allah, lindungi dan cintailah kami ... Amin.

STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS !!!

Dadah merosakkan hidup anda !!!