I AM a MUSLIM !!!

I am a muslim.
Saya tak pernah kata saya muslim yang paling beriman.
Saya tak pernah bercerita supaya pembaca menganggap saya punya hati yang paling bersih
dan suci. Saya tidak pernah merasa diri saya muslim yg kuat dan tabah menghadapi ujian/dugaan.
Saya cuma manusia biasa ... seorang muslim biasa!!!
Saya bukan muslim yg paling beriman. Saya punya hati yg kotor, berdebu & frozen.
(Err .. can icebergs be contaminated??? .. ok,ok.. NEVER MIND !!!)
Saya tidak kuat dan tidak tabah menghadapi ujian/dugaan.
No, I'm NOT being cynical .. It's the truth. Saya selalu rasa darjat saya sebagai muslim
ialah yg paling bawah sekali = paria.

BUT what I DID say was : I am what I am
AND I won't pretend to be what I'm not !!!

Saya ada perasaan & sebagai wanita memang saya selalu emosional.
Saya ngaku.
When I hate, I hate
and I beg Allah's forgiveness for hating
When I love, I love
and I thank Allah for HIS blessings
I do not pretend to love when I don't love
I do not pretend to hate when I don't hate
BUT I might hide my feelings ... hehaha ... Ermm ... seriously, I'm good at hiding my feelings, ahaks.

Allah blessed me with passion so much so that I easily sympathise & empathise
and I'm not cold to the people I hate, no matter how frozen my heart is.
If I can be ehsan towards the people I hate,
can you imagine what I'll do for the people I love ???

For me, my frens are equally important as my family
Ehh ... jap, jap, jap ... I mean my frens are as important as my sisters
Yg paling penting are my children.
Then my parents & husband.
Then my sisters & frens; close frens that is ... frens I trust.
Unfortunately, at this moment, not all frens who I trust want to be frens with me ... by my own fault entirely.
You can hold me accountable for that ... even b4 GOD, let me be the one to be punish for it.
Tapi dengan sifat Allah yg Maha Pemaaf, aku mohon ENGKAU maafkan aku, Ya Allah.