Sapi, Sepi, Sipi, Sopi, Supi

Sapi = panggilan yg lain bagi kerbau
- yang nak tanduk saya semasa Jambori Kadet di Ulu Bendol masa saya Ting 5
- yang kalau saya tahu lauk itu adalah dagingnya tekak saya jadi kembang.........
Ampun.....
- yang tanduknya panjang dan tajam...menakutkan saya..........
- yang Aisyah suka acah, "Toro, Toro, Toro........."

Sepi = yang selalu jadi penyebab saya masak dgn radio ERA berkumandang kat dapur......
- yang selalu buat airmata mengalir tanpa sebab
- yang hanya boleh diubati dgn bacaan AlQuran, solat Tahajud & Zikir
- yang selalu buat saya teringatkan kawan-kawan
(kenapa tak ingat kat keluarga sendiri ??? Hemm...........)
tapi berbual dgn kawan-kawan walaupun sekadar melalui email, sms atau ims memang mengurangkan rasa sepi saya.........

Sipi = yang hampir-hampir nak kena tapi tak............

Sopi = nama kawan sekuliah saya...tak tahu di mana dia sekarang.....

Supi = Entah......saya pun tak tahu apa makna Supi...........
Ada siapa-siapa yg tahu ???

Alahai........ada org dah tegur........"Demam hari ni.......mabuk... ke sewel ???"
Body temperature : alright.....seumur hidup tak pernah sentuh arak.....
rasa-rasa nampak lagi jalan, pintu ke , bilik ke, tingkap ke.......muka org je tak nampak....
sbb duk mengadap PC............HeHeHe

OK, OK..........I'm going....I'm going.............

One Forgotten Fren .......Am I ???

I went to a gathering ...........went up to the host, greeted her
& she said, "Help yrself ..k....make yourself comfortable...etc...etc...etc...."
Ya...I helped myself...went to sit in a corner & as always ...started observing everyone else.
I sat there alone..until sumone came to greet me ...
"Hey...remember me ??"
"Sure...u are ......." , I replied
"Ha....u recognise me? ......u know everyone else yg I tegur, tak kenal I ...bla,bla,bla..."
We chatted........then came sumone else........& then another, then another & another........
No........I was waiting for sumone else........& I was thinking ' so where is she ??? '
In the end , I just couldn't wait...
"Does anyone know where Zainab is ?"
Silence..........no answer.........
Finally, I met Ju.........& she told me........
"Ina, Zainab dah meninggal....she died of cancer a yr ago....."
And I didn't know about this.............no one told me !!!
At that time.......I had no tears for her..........
I wanted to see her so much............but I was too late............& she was gone......
All I had were memories.....
Today........except for Ju...no one else spoke of her.....
everyone treated her like a forgotten fren ................
But I still remember how she looked, with her specs & her books,her smile & her husky voice ....

I have not forgotten u my fren.....Zainab Abd Aziz.
Alfatehah utk Zainab , semoga dicucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya.............

Today I realise.........that I cud be a forgotten fren.....
I don't even have to wait til I die...........
When frens move on & they make new frens............its easy for them to forget me......
It does not matter what we've been thru together ...........
or that we had shared our secrets & been there for each other.........

And today I feel like a forgotten fren ........
but thats Ok......
Semoga ALLAH memberi perlindunganNYA,
menjadikan sahabat-sahabatku org yg paling bahagia .....
semoga diberi NYA kejayaan dunia akhirat ..........
dan semoga segala impiannya tercapai .......
InsyaALLAH .....Amin.

I'll be happy just knowing that you are happy my fren ...................

Warisan

Apakah yang menjadi warisan
sebidang tanah dusun pusaka ..........
atau harta, wang ringgit yang tak seberapa
atau rupa ... mirip ibu atau abah???
atau bakat dan kemahiran
warisan seorang budayawan ...........

Apakah pula yang bakal aku wariskan ???
aku tidak punya ........
segalanya tiada....tiada harta, tiada rupa
aku tidak pandai menenun songket
menganyam ketupat
melukis batik
Aku cuma tahu menulis ........
tapi aku bukan seorang karyawan.........
yg bahasanya gah & mengasyikkan
dan punya cinta buat ilham bicara ......

Aku tercari sebilah keris warisan
dari datuk yang tak pernah aku temui
kerna terlalu awal dia pergi
tidak sempat aku mendengar
cerita hebat seorang perwira
bersama siapa membela negara ..... ???

Aku tiada warisan.......
tidak mewarisi dan tidak diwarisi
kecuali pada zuriat yg aku lahirkan
itupun....darah ayah yang jadi keutamaan
sehingga yg mereka warisi dari aku
menjadi bahan ketawa...............
mengapa ??? ...hina ???

Going Nuts !!!

Going nuts again ???

Ya...I'm going nuts...........

What happened ???

Everything around me just fell silent .............

You go nuts becoz all else went silent ???
I wud go nuts if everything around me becomes extra loud

Huh??? Wouldn't u go nuts if u speak to others but they are not speaking to u??
or when u're trying to say sumthing & nobody is listening & its like u're talking to the open space or worse to a vacuum ............???
Wouldn't u go nuts when u call out , "Hello..........."
and u realise that there is no one there .............

Ok..............imagine this .............u're in a room but u're not alone
there is sumone else there ........... u speak to him & he speaks back to u .........
but u're saying "Hello............." & he is saying " Good bye.........."
U're saying, "Thank you...." & he is saying " for what ??"
U're saying. " for being a good fren..." & he is saying..."Oh its no big deal........I'll be frens with anyone ....."
and u realise...........even though u feel his frenship is important to u ..........
he does not really care, u're just one of his frens..insignificant, unimportant, un...

so what do u do..............???

GO CRACK THE PEANUTS !!! Ha! Ha! Ha!
U know what.............sumone shud call Tampoi Hospital or Tanjung Rambutan.....
wacko blogger on board ???

Keranamu Malaysia ???

Yeaa.......Merdeka fever is back!!!
Jalur Gemilang everywhere...people singing 'Keranamu Malaysia'.....
Even my neighbour started hanging Jalur Gemilang at her porch yesterday
I couldn't help but giggle .......

Am I not going to join in ??? HeHe....Me???
Oh!I've got the flag ..... but its sumwhere, stashed, not fr last yr or the previous yr's celebration,
its fr sum other celebration my hubby had with his buddies
Oh Yes....it was fr that 'Expedisi Berakit di Sg Pahang'
So back to the question ...am I not going to join in ?
My kids are enthusiastic about it .............
like "Ibu ..kita tak nak pasang bendera ke ???"
"Huh??? Should we ???"
I'm picturing.........flag up there......wind blowing.......nice view.....and then.........Crash!!! "Ibu ...Aisyah.....jatuh..."
Hemm.......
When you've got 3 extra active kids who always forget that they are girls ......
and you're like "Hey..........get down here......right now!!!" every now & then, wud you ???
The flag can easily be their reason to go climbing again

So ....... be mad at me all u want..........call me non- patriotic for all I care
Its my house...........and I say "No Flag!!!" .......... safety first !!!

Plus....the song "Kerana mu....aku...bla bla bla....."
Oii.....everyone is singing this song !!!
Ya ..Ya.. Ya.. but I always remember I promised GOD :
"Inna solati wanusuki wamahyaya wamamati lillahirabbilalamin"
go figure what that means ........
Its just a song ..............
OK.........you may sing it all u like.........I'm not singing.....

Lonely in A Crowd ???

I was listening to the song Lonely by Akon
" Lonely...I'm so lonely
I got nobody to call my own ...... "

HeHe.......actually loneliness does not really bother me.....
becoz I found ways to get over it .........
So it does not matter if no one cares about me ............
I'm not lonely in a crowd ................

Mogok

Zahra : " Ibu hari ni nak makan apa ???"
Me : " Tak de apa........."
Aisyah : "Ichah nak milo..."
Me : "Suruh Abah buat ..."
Aisyah : "Tak nak....Abah buat panas ."
Me : "Suruh Hajar....."
Aisyah : "Hajar buat banyak coklat...."
Me : "Suruh Zahra buat ....."
Aisyah : " Zahra buat manis sangat ...."
Me : " Banyak komplen..buat sendiri...."
Aisyah : "Waa.................Ichah nak ibu buat ............"
Me : "Hari ni ibu mogok..........ibu nak tido je siang, malam , pagi , petang.......
tak nak buat apa-apa............"

Huh???
Sampai ke hati nak biar anak-anak mengeluh kelaparan.....
nak biarkan rumah berdebu seinci .......
nak biarkan kain kotor tak berbasuh, yg basah tak bersidai, yang kering tak berlipat & tak bergosok ..............
Sampai ke hati ???
Tentu saja boleh dimarahi .........Ini Ibu atau Batu ???

Tapi bagaimana kalau ibu mogok hari ini ???

Menyendiri...sebel....di sini.....

Sendiri ???
Bolehkah hidup sendiri...???
jauh terdampar seorang diri
di sebuah pulau terpencil dan terasing
tanpa teman bicara,
tiada teman untuk ketawa ........
apa lagi teman untuk menangis ........
sepi................

Sendiri ???
Kamu ingin sendiri ???
sedang hari ini waktu teman-temanmu sibuk
masing-masing dengan masalah sendiri
tiada waktu terluang utk bicara,
tiada waktu untuk ketawa bersama
apalagi untuk mendengar kisah duka
kamu seperti hilang punca ..........
Aduuuh..........sebel........

Ya...ya....ya........aku sebel
sebel....sebel.....sebel......
hari ini memang terasa amat bosan
bosan...bosan...bosan......
walau ada suara anak-anak
bingit.......
berselang antara gurauan,
jerit tangisan dan perkelahian ..........
aku yang masih di sini
bosan.....menyendiri .............

No Matter What

No matter what they tell us
no matter what they do
no matter what they teach us
what we believe is true............ say that when you have that much faith in ALLAH
and you know that no matter what was preached down
your ears , you'd stick to your own faith..........

No matter what they call us
however they attack
no matter where they take us
we'll find our own way back ..... say that when you have that much guts and you know
you'd go thru with your plans no matter what

I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not .....
I know my love's forever
I know no matter what ..... say that if you think your love is everlasting & nothing
is going to change it, no matter what ......
I stopped saying it a long time ago , though I still stick to
the first two lines ......

And I will keep you safe & strong
shelter from the storm.....
No matter where its barren
a tree was being born....... I said that to my kids when things went wrong,
like when they failed their exams or they had a fight
with their best fren.

No matter who they follow
No matter where they'll be
no matter how they jugde us
I'll be everyone you need ......... again said that to my kids when their frens start calling them names ......

No matter if the sun don't shine
if the skies are blue ......
no matter what the end is ......
my life began with YOU .............. said that in my prayer to GOD recently,
wishing myself away........ thats not allowed.... ha ???

Dialogue 2

"Aisyah......"
Hem....dah tido dah dia
"Ait............Teddy menonggeng"
He He He...........
"Oh....tipu ibu ye.....dia pura-pura tido..."
HeHeHe...........
"Kenapa Teddy tido menonggeng ???"
"Teddy sakit perut ...."
"Oh............kesian Teddy....."
"Ibu...kita bawak teddy jumpa doktor........."
"Jumpa doktor ? Ada doktor utk Teddy ke......ibu tak tahu kat mana
doktor untuk Teddy "
"Kat England....."
"Amboi,...jauhnya.....adik kenal ke doktor dia?"
"Mr. Bean"

Uu...Aa...La.........kan dah kena sejebik........
Kurang asam punya anak............

Rindu

Entah kenapa hati jadi tersangat rindu ..........
rindu nak jumpa Kak Asmah, Hamidah ..............
rindu nak jumpa An...................
tak pula rindu nak jumpa keluarga sendiri kecuali adik bongsu
yg baru Isnin lalu bersalin anak ketiganya.........

Kalaulah boleh pergi merantau jauh membawa diri........
macam Sdr. Luigi yg mengikuti misi keamanan di Afrika
tapi saya kira, kalau saya.........
saya ingin ke Palestin , bukan utk memerangi Yahudi
tapi utk melihat dgn mata sendiri ...........
bagaimanakah keadaan mereka sebenarnya di sana ..........
apakah bantuan yg paling mereka perlukan di masa ini ???
adakah hati seteguh karang ???
keimanan tiada tergugat ???

Dan sebenarnya..........ada satu kerinduan
yg tak dapat diluahkan
menjadi rahsia antara aku dan Tuhan ............
Tuhan sekelian alam,
Tuhan yang mencipta aku
dan membentuk rinduku ..............

Semoga aku kembali padaNya dengan keimanan & kerinduan ...............
Dan ALLAH itu amat mengetahui ..........
menjadi teman paling setia di sisi
yg mengetahui segala isi hati


Anyone remember this song ? :
(Sorrylah aku memang suka nyanyi walaupun suara cam katak puru .............)
Modified version : Lagu : Rindu oleh Jamal Abdillah

Rindu...hati rindu
rindu kepada MU
Resah...jiwa ku resah.....
bagai angin senja

Sepi dunia sepi............
tanpa KAU di sisi..............
Tuhan.....pujaan hati.....
ingin ku temui.........

Kasih...telah bersemi....
harum di sudut hati
Sayang....hati resah bimbang
usah kau biarkan aku rindu..............

Puisi buat J

J : Janganlah hadir umpama biskut
A : asyik menyapa laksana ribut
M: menghilang diri tak sempat ku ikut.....
E : engkaulah teman yg selalu buat ku kalut
E : engkau kan janji jika pulang mu ku sambut
L : lalu salam mu ku sahut
A : antara kita tali persahabatan itu tak akan reput............

Can u call this a poem?
or mere nonsense ?

May God bless us all............
to all of my frens who have given me the strength to carry on
may ALLAH protect us all....
and may we smile from our heart.........

"As our life change fr whatever......
we will still be frens forever.........."

The Great Pretender

"Oh...Yes I'm a Great Pretender...
pretending I'm doing well
I seem to be what I'm not you see
I'm wearing my heart like a clown..........
pretending I'm not feeling down..........
Oh...Yes I'm a great pretender...."

"Excuse me......."
"Yes....???"
"Are you trying to tell me you're feeling down........"
"Nope...its just a song........modified for my own entertainment......"
"Oh..Ok....."
"Oh yes I'm a...."
"Hello......Can you sing some other song...........??? That song...is depressing me"
"Hem.............Bila Izrael datang memanggil
jasad terbujur di pembaringan
seluruh tubuh akan mengigil............
terkujur badan yang kedinginan......."

"Oh My GOD.................someone..........ear plugs pliz............."
"Death is depressing isn't it ???"
"No............I can talk about death........."
"So why the ear plugs.........???"
"Guess why..........."

Yup.........lucky it was just a pillow.............
I cud aim better with my book.......

Still.......here is to Lela & my 5K mates.... frens long time no see
but still in my mind
still have the blotting paper you guys scribbled with yr "I wuz 'ere" messages
pantang lepa.....blotting paper aku pun kelian nak conteng ???
I know this one is yr favourite
Lela ,....kena sediakan baldi kot....sekotak tisu tak cukup.........

Memories..... light the corners of my mind
misty water-coloured memories
of the way we were
scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
smiles we gave to one another
for the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then
or has time rewritten every line
if we had the chance to do it all again
tell me wud we, shud we

Memories may be beautifiul and yet
what's too painful to remember
we simply choose to forget
so its the laughter
we will remember
whenever we remember
the way we were.......

Di Penghujung Usia

Di penghujung usia
hidup ibu kembali ceria
sudah ku dengar suara riang ketawa
walau aku yang buat jenaka
lawak bodoh asal ibuku ketawa........

Di penghujung usia
ku lihat teman-teman dalam kebahagiaan
hidup mereka kian dihiasi kejayaan
biarpun aku tiada dalam ingatan
cukuplah aku telah berusaha
menjadi teman terbaik kalian.......

Di penghujung usia
aku redha di sini
setia menanti

I'll Never Break Yr Heart???

Have you heard it before???
Sure you have.......

"I'll never break yr heart...
I'll never let you down........."

or this version:

" I never wanna see you cry..........
I'll never treat you bad.........
coz I never want to see you sad.........
I swear to share yr joy & yr pain........."

Oh Ya ? Really ??
So Why ???
And why am I still here .......???
Hem..............here is one reason :

I was praying yesterday....lucky me I was at the end of my prayers.........
Satan as always wants to play his role...so he made sure I heard my Littlest singing
modified version (Mom likes to modify so like mother like daughter lah huh ???)

Song by Deddy Dores ..chorus :

"Jangan pisahkan Ibu dan Abah ........
Tuhan tolonglah ku cinta dia.......
biarkan kami tetap bersama
di dalam suka dan duka....."

And I'm like...........
OK,OK I get the message........Shut ..up already
Let me pray............

Nasib baik tak tergelak dlm solat..........Astaghfirullah
Tak khusyuk solat semalam..............
Lain kali kena kunci pintu..............
Ah jyo....itu orang ....suka buat kacau...........

Another Song

Ok..this is one song I kinda get addicted to
Thanks to the person who sent it to me....

Specially for my good frens including the fren who sent me this song ,
wherever you are...........

This time not modified but censored part of the song ....... by Broery Marantika

Sahabat Karibku
***************
Andainya kau dapat terbang
sampai ke bintang
Andainya kau kaya raya
mungkinkah kau ingat daku ...
sahabat karibmu

Andainya kau jadi raja
dan berkuasa
duhai sahabat karibku
masihkah kau ingat daku
sahabatmu dulu....

Andainya kau bersenjata
di medan perang
Andainya daku musuhmu
sampaikah hati mu kawan
melukai daku....

Andainya kau pergi dulu
dari dunia
andainya kau lihat syurga
janganlah kau lupa daku
sahabat karibmu.........

My kids....The Love of My Life

Kid 1 :Terdengar suara Si Ahmad Shuib.....

Sayang-sayang buah kepayang
pohon semalu tepi perigi
kalau memang sudah tak sayang
biar aku berlalu pergi

Ait.......sandiwara apa lak ni? Mesti numpang sekaki............

Kalau memang sudah tak sayang
biar aku berlalu pergi
Kalau kamu dah mabuk kepayang
mari sini ibu seligi..................

"Ha ...apalah ibu ni...buat terkejut Uib je................. "
"Ni... kenapa berpantun mantun lak ni ?"
"Uib baca buku pantun ibu lah............"
"Ibu ingatkan awak tgh mencipta pantun utk bakal menantu ibu.........."
" Mana ada......."

Marahnya lah dia.................kena usik ngan ibu......tapi marahnya sekejap saja
Hem..............kesianlah bakal menantu sbb Ahmad mewarisi sikap baran Abahnya.


Kid 2 : Aisyah is walking around like someone in a trance
She climbed up the step-ladder and said , " Wang..i, wang...i"

Aisyah is being hypnotised by sumthing 'wangi' ???
Hem.......I know this one......if I know Aisyah I've got to be ready for sumthing deeper than deep
"Ibu masak Tom Yam patutlah wangi..."
Hem...yelah tu........
"Ibu.....Ibu ni comel lah....macam baby.."
Comel cam baby??? ...............definitely
got prawn behind rock
" Aisyah...Aisyah nak apa ?"
She gave me a big hug , one cheeky smile & a peck on the cheek
Here it comes.......................
" Ichah nak barbie doll yg fairy tu.......ada kat Pantai Selamat
Ichah mintak kat Abah , Abah tak nak beli..............."

Abah tak nak beli so ibu can buy ???
Nope............no way
"Ibu pun tak nak beli sebab.......bla,bla,bla"
"Waa....."
"Aisyah........sayang ibu tak..............."
Tgh nangis pun jawab jugak "Sayang"
"Kalau sayang jangan menangis sbb ibu tgh sakit kepala......nanti kang ibu pengsan baru tau..........kalau ibu mati..."
"Eh..tak...tak....tak......."
Soal ibu mati memang sensitif buat Aisyah...............
tapi dia berhenti jugak daripada menangis

My kids...........the love of my life
they can give me the biggest headache
but they also bring me the biggest smile................

Specially For You...You know who U are...

"Ibu"....
"Aisyah....ibu bz........jangan kacau"
"This ...is...not....Aisyah......This....is ....robot....girl"

Dah mula lah tu........

"OK....Robot girl....go....away.....ibu....bz...."
"I...want...milk....I....want....milk...
Ibu ...not....bz........Ibu....read ...read....read.... only"

Kacau je..............

"Excuse me...yr milk....Lain kali Robot girl tak yah minum milk..
see...ibu tak de idea dah nak tulis apa ......."
"Ibu tulis je lah lagu yg ibu dgr tu................."

Huh??? Boleh tahan juga idea dia ni...........

So here goes..............
semoga pertemuan akan datang tidak seperti ini :....modified version of Shiela Majid's
tak tahu tajuk lagu............

Kata demi kata
jalin dgn indah
utk menyampaikan....maksud hati
Ku berani kan diri
utk memulakannya
tapi mengapa bibirku tak dapat bergerak
terasa berat.................

Oh malunya hati ini
bila ku ingat saat itu
kita hanya saling berpandang
& terdiam terpaku
Oh Tuhan hanya diri mu
yang menyaksikan segalanya
Oh Tuhan tolonglah daku
katakan padanya
Ku sayang dia...............

Well............what do u think???
When 2 shy people meet.........tak ke terkedu ???
HeHeHe..........

To my Cyber Friends

To Dzan, Ieda, Sis Asmah dll..........

Thank you for being my friends
for always being there
Thank you for being the 'shoulder' to cry on
And
Thank you for the comforting things you say
and the encouragements you give
Thank you for everything.......

Hanya ALLAH sahaja yang dapat membalas budi baik kalian.......
May ALLAH bless you always
May ALLAH grant yr wishes & make yr dreams come true
Berbahagialah di dunia & akhirat............InsyaALLAH...Amin