Mine...just mine !!!

Intruder

2012-01-30T09:37:00.001+08:00

Why do you intrude?
I have not disturb you ... why are you disturbing me?
Why intrude on my page???

Matlamat

2011-12-30T12:17:00.002+08:00

Aku kembali ke sini
ke bumi darahku tertumpah
meninggalkan tanah penuh barkah
dengan langkah yang berat
tertanam dalam hati ,
sarat dengan azam, nekad
perbetulkan rohani dan jasad
ke arah satu matlamat ..... ALLAH

Hatiku Menangis

2011-07-21T09:57:00.003+08:00

Airmataku mengalir lagi

walauku tahu ia tidak punya makna

walau sekelumit, sebesar zarah bahkan lebih halus lagi

tiada nilai bagi mereka, sekeping hati yang duka

terluka ....

tergores bagaimana ...

mereka peduli apa .....

hatiku saja yang terus terusan menangis .....

// Aku mohon padaMU Allah .... jemputlah aku ke sana

dan setelah tiba di sana, aku tak ingin kembali lagi ke sini

Amiin//

Apa-apa aje .....

2011-05-09T11:44:00.000+08:00

Pipit makan padi,
makan padi di tengah laman,
memang kita TAHU diri,
kita bukan sama golongan ...

Main pasir tepi pantai,
tepi pantai terang cahaya,
bagaimana hati nakku rantai,
asyik terkenang janji lama ...

Menumpang Sinarmu ....

2011-05-04T09:46:00.003+08:00

Ku petik bintang,

agar kamu tetap senyum,

walau bagaimana musibah mendatang,

semangatmu tidak mungkin pudar,

tidak MUNGKIN patah!!!

Lalu terpancarlah sinar

dari doa dan zikrullah,

melimpah tanpa sadar,

pada kami yang hidup menumpang,

suram dalam bayang-bayang ...

NEVER about me ......

2011-05-04T09:38:00.002+08:00

Keeping my distance,

Living in a bubble,

Blown by the wind,

I'm happy when I give,

and so .. I give ..

the star for you to shine ...

After all even my life is NEVER about me .....

Shutting All Out !!!

2011-02-27T14:31:00.002+08:00

I cried out
no one heard me,
I held out my hand
no one came to grab it
and so I sink

I'll go into my cave
shutting all out!!!
My apologies for the person that I am ..
My apologies for being the friend that I was ....
My apologies for everything .......

Yang Indah Di Hati, Cantik Pada Budi

2010-10-13T18:37:00.002+08:00

Yang indah di mata
cantik paras rupa
harta berjuta
menyentuh rasa ... TIADA!

Tatkala seri terpancar dari hati yang tulus
budi terserlah dalam perilaku yang ikhlas
Saat bicara benar walaupun sinis
tersentuh naluri
berbekas!
terkesan ke akhir hayat ...

Sampai Mati !!!

2010-10-13T18:11:00.001+08:00

Meniti langit yang biru
mencari embun yang tersembunyi di tengah pelangi
aku ingin jadikan penawar
buat mencuci segala kepiluan yang terbuku
kerana sejuta penyesalan yang tiada kesudahan
yang tidak mungkin terlerai ..... sampai mati !!!

//March 10, 2010; 5:29pm

Rebah, Tersungkur ....

2010-10-13T17:57:00.003+08:00

Kamu yakin
kamu yang terbaik
dalam mengamal suruhan Tuhan
akhlak terpuji, suami, bapa, isteri, ibu, mithali
bahagia hidup serasa diberkati

Setapak melangkah ke pintu syurga
tiba-tiba disambar api menjulang
KENAPA?

Mulut menyebut yang tidak sepatutnya
menuduh atas prasangka
mengungkap janji yang tidak dikota
menzalimi orang yang tidak berdosa

Hanya angkara mulut!!!
kamu rebah di pintu syurga
tersungkur di perut dunia

// September 4, 2010

FITNAH

2010-08-21T12:28:00.000+08:00

Dari Tanyalah Ustaz ( Jumaat 20 Aug. 2010):

FITNAH itu boleh berpunca daripada 4 perkara :-
i) Hati yang jahat
ii) Prasangaka yang terlintas dalam hati atau fikiran yang diucapkan pada orang lain, maksudnya, prasangka buruk yg terlintas dlm hati / fikiran kita ttg A, kita ceritakan pada B. Andainya prasangka buruk yang kita luahkan itu adalah sesuatu yang betul, ia akan menjadi umpatan, sekiranya ia sesuatu yang tidak benar ia menjadi fitnah
iii) Cerita yang tidak lengkap
iv) Cerita atau Berita yang ditokok tambah

Oleh itu ... saranan saya ... pada diri saya sendiri ... yg bertekad utk tidak lagi terjebak dlm masalah fitnah atau mengumpat!!! InsyaALLAH :-

I) BERSIHKAN hati daripada sebarang kejahatan atau unsur2 yg kotor
II) Yg terlintas dlm hati tu simpan dlm hati je, tak payah diluahkan ... & istighfar byk2 agar tidak dimainkan oleh iblis & kuncu2nya
III) Siasat dulu sebarang cerita atau berita yg didengar, jgn terus menghukum.
Kita kan kaya dgn ayat tanya : Siapa, Bila, Di mana, Mengapa, Bagaimana, Kenapa .. gunakan semuanya!!!
IV) Sebarang cerita atau berita yg ingin disebarkan, kalau bertulis, guna teknik "COPY & PASTE" (setakat betulkan ejaan bolehlah)
Kalau secara lisan, sekrg ni hp kan ada voice recorder, kita "RECORD & REPLAY" .. dgn ini tak ada kemungkinan utk menokok & menambah sehingga cerita yg kecil menjadi besar, yg tak sensasi jadi sensasi, yg remeh jadi kecoh etc.. etc.. etc

Amacam saranan saya???

Still Hurt & Sore ......

2010-08-14T07:43:00.003+08:00

Ok ... I admit .... I'm still hurt & sore

Kalau persahabatan saya dgn MC rosak gara-gara prasangka X,

X will suffer .... because I'm not that forgiving ...

sehingga hubungan saya dgn MC kembali pulih .....

then I'll let X go ... meaning I'll forgive 100%

BUT if this instinct of mine is wrong & I've been misled ....

then I will suffer ..... & I shall weep for forgiveness til the day I die

Persahabatan antara Maulana alMaududi dengan Maryam Jameelah

2010-08-12T11:15:00.002+08:00

Membaca himpunan surat2 AlMaududi - Maryam Jameelah; zaman tu tak ada email,
menyakinkan saya bahawa saya tidak salah.

Apabila persahabatan itu, sekali pun persahabatan jarak jauh spt yg berlaku
di antara Maryam Jameelah dgn Maulana alMaududi, adalah bertujuan utk sama2 memperbaiki diri, mendorong satu sama lain agar menjadi muslim yg lebih baik .. ia tidak mungkin salah.

Dan mereka juga sangat ekspresif apabila menulis, contohnya ...
Dalam surat alMaududi kpd Maryam, 1 April 1961, beliau menulis : Saya membaca surat puan dengan penuh minat ....
dan mengakhirinya dgn : Disudahi dengan salam dan ingatan yang sebaik-baiknya

Dalam surat Maryam kpd alMaududi, 11 Julai 1961, beliau menulis : Saya gembira mendengar kesihatan anda telah pulih & memungkinkan anda meneruskan penjelajahan ke Afrika ....
dan mengakhirinya dgn : Menunggu jawapan anda dengan girang, juga mengharapkan cerita sepenuhnya tentang pemergian anda ke Afrika

Jadi apakah saya salah ... apabila saya mencari sahabat yg menjadi pendorong utk saya memperbaiki diri??

P/s Yes, I know ... today ... where people are screwed & suffering from paranoia ... we no longer have that kind of frenship :-(

Perubahan

2010-08-02T11:30:00.004+08:00

Manusia berubah bila dia semakin berusia .... Setuju??
Perubahan manusia kerana pengalamannya, kerana doa, hasil usaha dan bimbingan sesama manusia dan atas izin & anugerah Allah swt.
Dalam bermahassabah diri, saya dapati cara saya mengendalikan situasi dan masalah telah jauh berubah

19 tahun yg lalu : 2 orang pelajar nak bertumbuk .... cikgu masuk, berdiri di depan kelas : Awak nak saya buatkan gelanggang tengah padang, nak ??
Tahun lepas : Apabila 2 orang pelajar nak bertumbuk ketika cikgu masuk ke dlm kelas, cikgu menghampiri kedua-duanya : Awak pergi duduk sana, awak sini ....
"OK, awak(A) cakap kenapa awak nak tumbuk dia; awak (B) diam jangan menyampuk ... "
kemudian cikgu bagi B pulak bercakap sementara A diam .....
Cikgu : "OK, dah dengar dah kan? Salah faham je kan ??" ;
A & B : "Ya, cikgu" ; A: "Saya ingatkan dia nak ambik barang saya ...."
Cikgu : "Dah, salam ..... sebab tulah berdosa kalau kita berburuk sangka, tak pasal2 nak bertumbuk, padahal kawan kan??"

19 tahun yang lalu tindakan cikgu tidak memulihkan keadaan ... tahun lepas, tindakan dia menyebabkan 2 org pelajar yg hampir bertumbuk berbaik semula

Sebenarnya waktu cikgu berdiri dekat dgn mereka, cikgu pun takut juga .... kalau A tak tahan penumbuk dia, memang bedebuk kena kat cikgu .... lagipun bebudak tu lebih besar daripada cikgu mereka, kalau nak ikutkan memang mereka boleh melawan tapi atas izin Allah swt, mereka patuh pada arahan. But I really prefer memulihkan persahabatan daripada membiarkan ia terus renggang

Peristiwa itu mengajar saya untuk berani mengambil risiko untuk :

i) bersuara dan bertanya serta meminta penjelasan ... itu lebih baik daripada saya berpegang kepada andaian,

main agak-agak atau syak wasangka .... sebab itu saya lebih rela bertanya, "mengapa buat/cakap begitu?" daripada saya pendam & biarkan keraguan itu berlalu. Sesuatu yg saya pendam akan sentiasa muncul semula dlm kotak fikiran saya .... justeru itu lebih baik saya mengambil risiko, bertanya & dapatkan kepastian kerana setelah itu ia tidak lagi bermain dalam kepala .......

ii) meluahkan perasaan saya .... contohnya waktu saya beritahu Hamidah tentang kesedihan saya .... saya bukan cemburu atau dengki pada kamu Ieda .... saya cuma sedih sebab saya tahu keindahan persahabatan & keseronokkan bertemu mereka sebagaimana yang kamu alami tidak akan pernah saya alami. Lagipun saya sedar saya bukan seperti kamu .....

iii) bertambah kuat berpegang pada prinsip :"Hidup jangan menyusahkan orang"

Saya minta maaf kalau dulu saya selalu menyusahkan kamu semua dgn mengadu hal & bertanya itu & ini .....

Yang jelas saya tidak bermaksud hendak menyusahkan orang & tidak akan menyusahkan; kiranya kalau tersesat sorang2 kat SG, JB atau SA, saya lebih rela tidur kat masjid drp saya menganggu orang .... apatah lagi setelah membaca alkisah di UKS tu ... jelas2 tak semua org boleh terima tetamu yg tak diundang.

That said .... kalau you all tersesat kat Pekan, saya sudi terima kamu di sini .... if you don't mind rumah sempit teres setingkat 3 bilik, nak bermalam di sini pun boleh .......

Hari tu hubby offered my fren to sleep over, asyik berborak tgk2 jam dah dekat 12 mlm, An & famili tak kisah tapi sebab Kamil dah janji dgn adik dia terpaksa juga mereka bertolak ke Raub ...

Dah beberapa kali An dtg Pekan, entah bila pulak saya dapat ke Kg Seri Tanjung, Masjid Tanah, Melaka ( masa zaman bujang itulah my refuge bila tension ngan Abah ngan Mak yg slalu ber'perang')

Minggu lepas jumpa teman sebilik masa di UKM, dia pulak menawarkan rumah dia kalau kami gi Kota Bharu .... insyaAllah kalau jadi Sulaiman ke Nilam Puri, kami akan ke sana, tak puas borak dgn Kif hari tu

Ieda, next time kalau you dtg Pekan ramai2 macam hari tu .... bolehlah kalau nak berehat lepak2 kat my house sebab my husband baru tambah ruang lepak kat depan ...... so no problemo

And double that said, you guys ... I still need your prayers .... itupun kalau kamu sudi mendoakan saya & ia tidak menyusahkan

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan yang bakal tiba 11 Ogos 2010 nanti ........

CINTAku hanya buat DIA

2010-07-14T16:26:00.005+08:00

Somebody wrote this at FB :
Sudahkah kita meninggikan rasa cinta kita pada Allah melebihi cinta kita pada keluarga kita?
Sudahkah kita dahului cinta kita kepada Allah mendahului cinta kita pada pekerjaan kita?
Sudahkah kita korbankan seluruh jiwa raga kita demi ibadah kita pada Allah melebihi kasih sayang kita kepada anak2 kita?

Diari kehidupan kita setiap hari:
Kita menangis apabila kita kehilangan kasih sayang suami, anak2 atau keluarga.
Kita menangis bila kita di buang kerja atau kehilangan kerja
Kita menangis bila hati kita di sakiti atau dikhianati
Kita menangis andai suami tidak menghargai

Tapi apakah kita menangis bila kita berada jauh dari kasih sayangnya Allah swt, Tuhan yang mencipta sekelian alam, Tuhan yang memiliki segala kasih sayang yang teragung yang tidak mungkin kita perolehi dari manusia sejagat?

Kebetulan suatu ketika dulu saya pernah bertanya soalan itu ....

Kebetulan tidak berapa lama dulu, ketika itu hati saya merasa kehilangan dan sedih kerana doa saya tidak dimakbulkanNYA, entah bagaimana fikiran itu terlintas lalu saya berkata dlm sujud kepada DIA :

Tidak mengapalah ENGKAU tidak memberi aku pekerjaan yang aku minta,

tidak mengapalah kalau ENGKAU tidak memulihkan persahabatan yang sangat ku hargai itu, tidak mengapalah kalau pertemuan antara kami tidak akan pernah terjadi,

tidak mengapalah kalau aku tidak punya apa-apa ...

ASALKAN aku ada ENGKAU, asalkan ENGKAU menjadi "sahabatku" paling setia,

asalkan aku bertemu ENGKAU & berada dekat dengan MU selalu ....

Namun begitu Ya Allah, walaupun ENGKAU tidak memakbulkan doa aku utk diriku ... makbulkanlah doaku buat mereka. ( I mentioned the names in my prayers but I'll hide them here) Ameen ......

Dan kerana saya amat berharap agar saya terus berada di dalam naungan & cahaya petunjukNYA, maka saya perlu membersihkan hati, memohon ketabahan utk menerima ketentuanNYA & menjaga hubungan saya dgn DIA. Cinta saya hanya buat DIA

When you need me : You can Cry On My Shoulder

2010-07-11T12:00:00.003+08:00

I may not be online .... but I'm here .. just a phone call away
or there's the sms .... or snailmail ...
Point is: I'm no longer online BUT I'm there when you need me.

Superficial & Plastic !!!

2010-05-24T11:03:00.005+08:00

Some people really loves the superficial & plastic stuffs ...

I mean ... they don't want to hear the horror & soppy stories
they just want to hear the good stuffs, even if those good stuffs are not true

Like :
Apa khabar? "Baik" ....

Never heard of people replying, "Khabar buruk" even though he/she may be in pain .... or has just recently gone thru a divorce or just had an accident or whatever ...

Oh ... and the response above ... uttered with a plastic smile ...
So .... a COMPLETE package, ehh???

Well ... if that's what you want .... that's what you'll get !!!
I mean that's what I'll give .. to ppl who wants that.

SMILE ..... a Superficial and Plastic smile!!!

Volcano Eruption

2010-05-21T11:24:00.005+08:00

I've been thinking .... every time someone complains about trivial matters

we say, "Mellow down ..." or "Cool it" or "Relax" or worse, we give her/him a lecture on how she/he should be thankful for what she/he has ...

And then .... we're like ... surprise, "WHAT??? They broke up???" or whatever ......

We never realize do we, that every time we tell them to mellow down or cool it or relax, we're actually telling them to suppress their discontent ...... it's like putting a lid on the volcano's mouth.

So no wonder it all comes out in an eruption ......

We should have created channels to release the pressure & let the lava flow out in a steady stream, instead of closing the mouth & allowing the pressure to build up until it can no longer contains itself and explodes. SIGH!!!

Oh Well, let's go clean up the lava now ....

What I Cannot Change - LeAnn Rimes

2010-04-16T16:55:00.000+08:00

I would do anything for you - Sami Yusuf

2010-03-01T16:44:00.000+08:00

NOT A Fren In Need

2010-02-23T08:17:00.002+08:00

I DO NOT want to be a fren in need ... who only says "Salam" when she's in need of sumthg

Nauzubillah

I want to be a TRUE fren ... a fren who is there when she is needed, who asks how her frens are doing, who is happy when her frens are happy & sad when they are sad

A fren who prays for her frens' well being

InsyaAllah .... may Allah swt help me be a TRUE fren. Ameen

Jauh

2010-02-08T14:16:00.004+08:00

Jauh aku berlari

berlari mengejar pelangi

sayang pelangi bukan realiti

tersentak, kaki tersadung duri

Jauh aku pergi

pergi membawa diri

tiada yang peduli,

yang hirau pemergianku ini

Sayu, rindu membelenggu hati ...........

Puisi

2010-01-23T10:17:00.004+08:00

Written upon request :-

Mengapa
persahabatan yang tulus dan ikhlas
tiba-tiba kamu buang bagai sampah tak berharga
mengapa??

Apakah
persahabatan yang ku sangka sangat bermakna
rupa-rupanya cuma buih sabun di arus yang deras
di hatimu sedikitpun tidak berbekas
apakah begitu sebenarnya?

Bisakah
memberi walau sesaat, barang sebaris ayat
jelaskanlah mengapa segalanya berubah sekelip mata
jelaskan agar aku mengerti
agar hatiku tenang kembali
Andai aku yang salah .. maafkanlah

Wahai sahabat
pergilah mengejar cita-cita
pergilah walau ke hujung cakerawala
aku tetap mendoakan agar kamu bahagia di puncak dunia
setia menunggu sampai ketika

kamu sudi menyapaku di sini

Hidup Satu Perjuangan - Cap Ayamz

2009-12-08T12:42:00.000+08:00

Freedom - Akon

2009-12-08T01:31:00.000+08:00

YES, I am FREE to do as I please !!!

If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys

2009-12-08T01:16:00.000+08:00

Special dedication just for my husband :D

I Have Nothing - Whitney Houston

2009-12-08T00:40:00.000+08:00

Detox! Detox! Detox!

2009-12-07T12:20:00.004+08:00

Preparing for Awal Muharram ... I'm going on detox programme
Detox body, mind & soul ......
Detox Physically, Emotionally & Spiritually!!!

Physical Detox (Body) - a) Detox Body - Juvanex vs Kinohitimitsu ??
Juvanex >RM100 ( for 2 sets) , Kino RM60.90
Actually it's not the question of cost ... it's a question of taste
Which am I able to drink .... me think : none, ahaks!!
b) Detox Skincare : Found an "over the counter" product which I like
but i'll go for "on the shelf" one, easier to buy
c) Detox Haircare : Aiming for Toni & Guy's Detox Shampoo
Conditioner : alAisyah - perfecto mento!!!
d) Detox Cosmetic : Aiming for one "over the counter" product
but landed at Rimmel's instead ....
Never mind .... "over the counter" can wait..... next year, insyaAllah

Emotional Detox (Soul) - An advice from an old fren, let it out & let it go ...
so I've let it out to my eFrens, now I'm letting it go. Tak perlu sedih lagi .....
They are still my Frens. I will NEVER break the silraturahim. Nauzubillah.

Spiritual Detox(Soul) - Start preparing for Hajj. Never mind when I'm actually going ... MUST start preparing for it from now on .....

Detox my Mind - Ustaz kata, "Satu hari 10 perkataan" .... alahai, dah tua-tua ni ...
boleh ke ingat???
BUT for better understanding of the qur'an this is a MUST!!!
Dan membaca alQur'an itu membersihkan hati so .... MESTI! MESTI!
MESTI! buat

Therefore ... hopefully ... insyaALLAH ... by 1 Muharram I AM a NEW me .......... :D

HasbiAllah, La ila ha illa anta, tawakal al-allah, subhanaka inni kuntu minazzalimin
Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tiada Tuhan melainkan Engkau, aku berserah pada Allah, Maha Suci Engkau, sesungguhnya aku termasuk org2 yg menzalimi diri sendiri

Laughing it Away

2009-11-09T11:18:00.003+08:00

Entered the door & hubby said, " someone was in the house" pointing at his scattered tools. All the drawers in the living room were open.
Everything were left scattered in our room & the next.
We saw the point of entry = our ventilation outlet and his/their point of escape : thru our fire escape route. (This is the reason why people lock their fire escape exit which causes death of trapped victims)
I went to the kitchen & went "Abang, how am I suppose to cook??"
He asked," Why?"
"Look"
I pointed to the hole in the wall where the pipe was supposed to be ...
Hahahaha.... we burst out laughing
Somehow .... it seemed funny.
All in all we realised the thief or thieves had stolen everything that were made copper ... even the electric wire. Tsk!Tsk!Tsk!
Menyusahkan orang betul!!! Hahaha

Living on A Prayer - Bon Jovi

2009-11-05T11:22:00.000+08:00

We got to hold on to what we've got
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not

Oo ... We're half way there .. Oo.. living on a prayer
Take my hand we'll make it I swear ... Oo ... living on a prayer

Teenagers in Love

2009-10-31T17:24:00.006+08:00

I found out about it when Aisyah accidentally read his sms.
She was playing a game using her brother's hp when an sms came in.
Without thinking she opened the sms & read it ... and then went : "IBU... nak muntah Ichah"
She was clearly very upset, complaining "Mana boleh sayang abang orang.. bla,bla, bla"
Frankly, I never thot she would be that possessive.

AND surprise, surprise ... I find myself quite calm.
I can accept it.
But I teased Aisyah & said "why don't you reply to her & tell her only you can
sayang your brother"
Alhamdulillah, she didn't.
I don't think it would be appropriate.

I'm not going to interfere. I have spoken to him about frenship, I don't think I need
to repeat what I said.
BUT I will talk to him about love and responsibility, insyaAllah, soon.

BTW, I did reply to one of her sms, without reading it ...
because she kept sending msgs & his hp was near the pc
(mengacau ketenteraman aku nak buat kerja je !!!)
I wrote : "anak saya gi tahlil"
Hint Hint (if she gets the hint) .. I know you exist. Hahaha.

Hemm .... at least Sulaiman's fren introduced herself. I do prefer that.
Except Sulaiman has so many frens :
"Yang mana satu ni Long ..??"
"Hihihi ... kawan-kawan je la .. Bu

http://inakl-musical.blogspot.com/2009/10/teenagers-love-language.html#links

Teenagers Love Language

2009-10-31T17:05:00.000+08:00

Let's try and understand their love language, shall we ??

Before we get all emotional and upset ... and over reacting to it ... if I may say so.

OK, take a deep breath.

SIGH!!! My baby is in love ..... SOB ! Sob ! SOB ! He's gonna leave Mommie.

Don't need Mommie anymore .. SOB!SOB!SOB!

Rrriiinnngg !!! "Ibu ... "

Oh, it's my baby & he's coming home. Yeay !! He'll always be MY baby !!!

What's Up - 4 Non Blondes

2009-10-30T21:37:00.000+08:00

Why is it that people always say one thing but do the other ...
WHY? WHY?? WHY???
And I say "Hey .. what's going on?"

Be With You - Akon

2009-10-28T09:56:00.000+08:00

And no one knows why I'm into you
coz you never know what it's like to walk in our shoes
And no one knows the things we've been through
can never measure up to half of what i put you through
that's why we'll break through

And I don't care what they say ...
I'm gonna be with you
And i don't care what they do
I'm gonna be with you

Teman terunggul

2009-09-03T15:31:00.001+08:00

Specially dedicated to a fren:

Sahabat karibmu

2009-09-03T11:46:00.004+08:00

Andainya kau dpt terbang
sampai ke bintang
andainya kau kaya raya
mungkinkah kau ingat daku
sahabat karibmu

Andainya kau jadi raja
dan berkuasa
duhai sahabat karibku
masihkah kau ingat daku
sahabatmu dulu

Teringatkan janjimu
yg kau ucap dahulu
walau gempa bumi
menghancur dunia
tak akan terpisah kau dan aku

Andainya kau bersenjata
di medan perang
andainya daku musuhmu
sampaikah hatimu kawan
melukai daku

Teringatkan janjimu
yg kau ucap dahulu
walau gempa bumi
menghancur dunia
tak akan terpisah kau dan aku

Andainya kau pergi dulu dari dunia
andainya kau lihat syurga
jgn lah kau lupa daku
sahabat karibmu

Just Be Yourself

2009-08-30T14:06:00.005+08:00

Just be yourself
I won't expect you to be anything more or less
and if time rewinds and you're still unkind
I'd still accept you as you are ...

I hope that God will let you see
kindness within is what I seek
through harsh words that hurts
and coldness that freeze
your friendship means the world to me

Friendship to me is a priceless treasure

and the few friends I have I'll cherish for ever

though things go sore and our path deviate

the memories I'll keep, I'll never forget,

nor will I ever regret

knowing a fren who has touched my life

Tatkala

2009-08-29T08:53:00.003+08:00

Tatkala saya tidak lagi menyenangkan hati orang yang saya nikahi

tatkala anak-anak tidak lagi mengendahkan ibu mereka ini

tatkala sahabat, teman dan kenalan menjauhkan diri

tatkala itu .... terhentilah peranan saya di muka bumi ini.

Tatkala itu lebih baik saya pergi .... pergi bertemu illahi.

Rindu berbicara

2009-08-28T12:09:00.005+08:00

Aku rindu

rindu berbicara seperti dulu

bercerita tentang anak-anak, cita-cita dan impian masa depan

rindu bertanya pendapat dan pandangan

Aku akui aku rindu

tapi aku juga tahu

betapa dalam pun rinduku

cuma Tuhan tempatku mengadu

Tuhanku, andainya masa ku tiba

titipkan salamku padanya

walaupun aku tahu ... mungkin dia tidak akan peduli

Yang Indah di Hati, Cantik Pada Budi

2009-08-23T06:56:00.002+08:00

Yang indah di mata

cantik paras rupa

harta berjuta

menyentuh hati ... tiada!

Tatkala indah terpancar dari hati yang tulus

bila budi cantik dalam perilaku yang ikhlas

saat bicara benar walaupun sinis

tersentuh naluri .... berbekas!

terbawa sampai ke akhir hayat

Aisyah oo Aisyah !!!

2009-08-22T12:50:00.002+08:00

"Ibu suruh tido sini ... senang nak kejut sahur.."

Abah tak tanya pun!! :D

Aisyah tak pernah sedar dia satu-satunya anak Abah yg sering terlepas dari "hukuman" Walaupun kena marah, kena halau ... Aisyah tak pernah serik mencari peluang untuk tido menyelit kat Ibu . hihihi

DAN saya tidak pernah serik kena "sound" sebab beri Aisyah tido dgn saya ...

Saya tak pernah puas menghidu bau masam Aisyah ... sehingga saat dia juga terpaksa memilih antara asrama dgn Ibu

Aisyah sedar saat itu semakin dekat tapi dia tahu saya akan sentiasa memberi dia sokongan walau apa pun pilihan yang dia buat.

Aisyah tahu saya sayangkan dia

Semalam sambil melintas jalan dari masjid .. Aisyah kata,

"Ichah tak kan biarkan Ibu pergi lagi ....."

InsyaAllah Aisyah .... Ibu akan sentiasa ada di sini .. selagi umur Ibu panjang dan kalaupun Ibu dipanggilNYA pulang ....

Ibu akan sentiasa "ada" ....

Entah Kenapa - menjelang 1 Ramadhan

2009-08-21T09:43:00.003+08:00

Entah kenapa airmataku mengalir lagi

sedangkan aku telah berjanji pada diri sendiri

airmata darah telah berhenti

namun entah mengapa ia mengalir kembali .... sejak malam tadi

Airmataku mengalir lagi kerana terlalu mengenangkan sebuah persahabatan

entah kenapa aku terlalu tersentuh dengan persahabatan ini

sedangkan ia cuma sebuah ukhuwah di alam maya

mungkin kerana aku terlalu menghargai

bagiku persahabatan ini bagai permata yang tidak ternilai

aku harapkan ia bertahan ke akhir hayat, tak lapuk dek panas tak lekang dek hujan

aku harapkan ia kuat walau dilanda ribut dan taufan

malangnya aku silap ........ semuanya salah aku sendiri

dan kini dia semakin dingin

Menjelang 1 Ramadhan ... esok

aku mohon pada MU Tuhan

izinkan aku berada di dalam naunganMU

menangis di dalam "pelukan" MU

Ya Allah, sembunyikanlah airmata ini

agar tidak terlihat di mata

biar anak-anakku tidak melihatnya .... terutamanya Aisyah.

Then & Now

2009-08-19T16:47:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time since I last wrote.

This is where it all started .... I mean this is where it became stronger, our friendship ...

because I used to love reading your postings in the blog.

Now we are all so occupied with other things in our lives, we hardly come to this space anymore.

And yet .... there are friendships I just can't forget

nor can I let go

May Allah swt bless & protect you & your family always my frens

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan

Grasses Are Not Always Green On This Side of My World

2009-08-03T15:39:00.001+08:00

When I say "go & have fun with and for the kids"

I bukan bermaksud menggalakkan sisters hidup sendiri walau suami di sisi
DAN tentu saja sikap "asal saja menunaikan tanggung jawab" adalah tidak memadai dan

boleh membawa kepada dosa

Sebenarnya yang saya maksudkan adalah :-
Jangan jadikan suami sumber kebahagiaan kita 100%

Grasses are not always green on this side of my world but I have learnt to adapt

so much so that my happiness does not revolve around any men, family or frens.

It revolves around me ... how I face the down side of my life.

Yes ... it hurts when I'm mistreated but the hurt will not bring me down.

My happiness depends on Allah swt & me.

YES!!! Aku juga memilih bahagia !!! ..... dengan caraku sendiri ....

New ME!!

2009-08-01T11:54:00.001+08:00

1 Sya'aban
***************
Alhamdulillah, walaupun tak dapat mengajar lagi
tapi Allah swt masih tetap mengurniakan rezeki.
Alhamdulilah. Syukran Ya Allah.

Baru-baru ni terjumpa anak-anak murid dari Pusat Matrikulasi UKM tahun 1989 dulu
di Facebook. Seronoknya rasa ....
Tambah pulak bila tengok mereka semua dah berjaya.
Alhamdulillah sekali lagi Ya Allah.

DAN Alhamdulillah, Allah swt membuka lembaran baru buatku.
InsyaAllah .... this blog will be about the new me.

Sekali aku berlalu
tiada akan menoleh lagi
melangkah ke depan, bersemangat, memperbaiki diri

Aku yg ini
Bukan aku yg dulu
kerna hidupku hari ini tidak dipengaruhi kamu

Yang Peduli !!!

2009-07-23T11:50:00.005+08:00

Manusia tidak pernah peduli kita merana atau tidak
manusia tidak peduli pada berapa banyak airmata kita sudah mengalir
yang peduli cuma Allah swt,
yg memahami, melihat & mendengar suara hati kita cuma DIA

Allah swt itu penuh dengan kasih sayang
dan Allah swt sangat peduli pada kita
jadi kenapa perlu merana kerana manusia
so I cry my heart out pada Allah swt
mengadu pada DIA, minta tolong pada DIA
DIA yg akan memberikan kebahagiaan

I have fun with & for the children
& suami jadik "cemburu" & wants to join in, hihihi

Saya tak dapat sms / nota/kad cinta dari suami .... SO WHAT
saya dapat sms/ nota /kad dari anak-anak, macam pagi tadi ....
terjumpa kad bawah keyboard.

To Ibu
From : Secret
(like I do not know her handwriting ..... siapa lagi kalau bukan SiPuteri Bongsu)
I love you
I will always love you ...
Happy kisses day !!!
Muahh !!!

Ha engkau ... I was on cloud 9 from morning til dusk.
Cukuplah anak2 yg beri ucapan begitu.
Cukuplah kalau anak2 yg selalu hantar sms. Of course bila baca sms remaja ni
kena decipher macam decipher kod rahsia perisik entah dari mana ... last2 kena tanya kat org lain :
"Along, ni apa benda yg Shuib tulis nih ?? "
Manusia mungkin tak percaya anak-anak remaja rapat dgn saya kerana
mereka tinggal di asrama tapi hakikatnya ..
hemm... biarlah orang nak kata apa ....

Biarlah dibenci & dihina manusia
saya yakin ALLAH swt sentiasa menaungi .....
yang penting saya tidak lupa pada DIA & sentiasa membersihkan hati
pakai berus dawai & clorox kalau perlu ... agar putih bersinar2 .. hihihi
Wallahu'alam.

Pekan vs KL : MY World !!!

2009-07-21T12:36:00.003+08:00

Yup this is my world .. Pekan, Pahang.
Budaya hidup org kat sini tak serupa dgn budaya hidup org di KL, which is also my world
coz it's my hometown.

i) Khenduri khendara

Kat sini guna caterer juga tapi caterer masak di rumah pengantin.
So unlike in KL where the food caterer comes with the food ready cooked,
cuma tinggal dihidangkan, di Pekan kami masih ada acara gotong royong ....
Contohnya, kalau hari Sabtu khenduri kahwin, jadi hari Jumaat & Sabtu pagi ada acara siang menyiang,
potong bawang, sayur, cili, sembilih & lapah lembu & potong ayam etc...etc...
Dah siap, pass kat Tukang Masak & dia akan masak.
Part menghidang & mencuci ... caterer provide lah macam di KL jugak.

ii) Sakit pening

Setakat ini, belum pernah lagi saya dengar org tua di kawasan saya terlantar keseorangan bila dia sakit.
Jiran, sedara mara suwer kelam kabut punyalah. Yang anak2 di asrama pun diberi cuti balik kalau emak bapak, atok atau neneknya sakit.
So MEMANG saya tak faham kenapa seorang pemuda yg tinggal sejengkal tak boleh balik jenguk emak bapaknya yg sakit
Saya pun boarding sch product. Hey, jgn kata emak atau bapak, adik beradik kalau sakit pun kita dah kelam kabut balik, (dan pantang saya tertidur, suami ku bawak kereta macam Schumacher sbb tu tak boleh tidur) macam baru2 ni bila abang ipar sakit. We stayed until his condition improved.
Begitu juga seorang rakan a product of boarding sch jugak, menjaga ibunya yg terlantar .. tak ada masalah pun.
So .. saya MEMANG tak faham kenapa mamat JB tu dehaka kat org tua.
Saya agaklah kan ... Entah dia kena halau dari rumah kot sebab tu lah dia tak nak balik jenguk org tua.
There's something fishy here.

Kalau masyarakat bersalah, masyarakat setempatlah yg bersalah.
Kenapa pulak saya ???
Because we don't practice that attitude or that culture here in Pekan.
And the people in this community does not condone such attitude either.

Apapun saya berdoa agar Allah swt menunjukkan hal sebenar, agar Pekan tak banjir.
Meantime sure, OK, I'll sing the song : "You can put the blame on me"

So what else is different here :-

iii) The pace
The slow pace .. when I have the time in the world, I don't mind
When I DON'T have the time in the world, I get pissed
because they take 1hr to do something that only takes 15 minutes.
Eg. I'm queueing up at the counter. Since they mislabelled something so they say they have to go & check
OK, fine .. go check, I'll wait .....
Setengah jam berlalu .... ni apahal pulak tak muncul2 ni ... at last, bila dia muncul
The line is already that looongg & she's walking like a model on a runaway.
Mahu je saya hempuk kepala dia dgn bakul. Ggrr

iv) No traffic jams
Great!!! what more can I say

v) Public Transport
Ada teksi tapi Pekan - Kuantan sahaja, caj ikut kepala bukan meter.
Bas - Pekan to Ktn every half an hr
Around Pekan : every 30 - 45 minutes
Therefore .. banyaklah "van sapu" ... especially utk org2 yg tinggal di kawasan Paloh Hinai/ Ganchong
Since the place I'm staying is enroute to Ktn therefore I have more choices ... kiranya taklah lama menunggu bas sbb boleh naik bas Ktn - Pekan atau bas Kuala Pahang - Pekan.

vi) Sekolah
Kat Pekan ni ada 2 jenis sekolah : sekolah bandar & sekolah luar bandar.
Sekolah bdr utk sekolah2 yg terletak di tgh-tgh bandar Pekan
dan sekolah luar bandar utk kawasan luar bandar Pekan.
Sekolah macam sekolah anak saya tu, SKPeramu Jaya ...dianggap sekolah pinggir bandar.
Beza antara keduanya :- sekolah bdr multiracial, sek luar & pinggir bandar biasanya 100% bumiputra
Dari segi kemudahan sekolah lebih kurang sama je ...
tapi sumber utk kemudahan : sek bdr byk drp PIBG ( anak kerabat & VIP Pekan ramai kan ...),
pinggir bdr drp PIBG & subsidi Pejabat Pelajaran daerah
& luar bdr almost 100% drp subsidi Pej Pelajaran Daerah
Perangai pelajar - lebih kurang je cuma budaya hidup mereka berbeza.

Tidak boleh dinafikan ada perbezaan antara anak2 yg ibubapa nya berpelajaran
atau kalau mereka tak berpelajaran pun, mereka pentingkan pelajaran & mahu anak2 berjaya
berbanding dgn yg tak kisah "Tak pe cik gu, kalau dia gagal saya kahwinkan je .."
Hemm ... kalau anaknya sama miang saya tak boleh nak kata apalah
tapi kalau anaknya membantah .... makanya .... ku kerjain, sampai juling biji mata menghafal formula
Pokoknya bila dapat keputusan boleh tjk kat bapak : "Ni .. saya LULUS !!!"

Unfortunately I'm no longer in the teaching industry so ... let everyone else do the joblah
It seems I'm better off away than in the industry - merosakkan minda anak2 barangkali
because ppl are saying : "To be globally competitive we need to excel in English, think in English n speak in English"
Me don't speak eng, me speak Manglish ...

Penutup

2009-07-16T00:34:00.001+08:00

Aku Yang Dilupakan

2009-07-14T23:14:00.002+08:00

Aku memang sedar aku bukan siapa-siapa.
Aku memang sedar aku tidak pantas dihargai
keberadaan aku tidak pernah diperlukan

Aku sahaja yang menghargai kamu seperti ini
aku sahaja yang menganggap kamu seperti permata yang tiada nilainya
aku sahaja yang tidak pernah dapat menerima perubahan

Kamu bergerak pantas meninggalkan aku jauh di belakang
Kamu lupa pada apa yang pernah kamu ucapkan dulu
atau sebenarnya kata-kata itu memang bukan untuk aku
atau segalanya berubah kerana perbalahan antara kita

Aku mohon maaf ...
maaf atas semua kesilapanku
maaf atas semua yang tersilap bicara, tersilap tulis, tersilap kata
aku mohon maaf dunia akhirat.

Semoga Allah swt melindungimu selalu .........
Aku pergi dulu ..........

Sumber Motivasi

2009-07-13T17:19:00.003+08:00

Sebenarnya tak siapa pun tahu saya ada sumber motivasi
Malangnya akhir-akhir ini sumber motivasi saya sering menghilang ....
Bila dia hilang .... sepertinya semangat saya juga berkurang

Saya cuba alihkan sumber motivasi saya pada yang lain ....
tapi ia tidak berkesan :-((

Saya mohon pada Mu YA Allah, sebagai tempat saya mengadu
Tolonglah kembalikan sumber motivasi saya ....
Pliz Ya Allah ..... Tolonglah
Maafkan saya kalau saya meminta sesuatu yang tidak sepatutnya saya pinta
Ya Allah Engkau yang Maha Mengetahui
Amin.

First Day of The 2nd Half of The Year

2009-07-01T16:25:00.004+08:00

Watching my routine :
It's not about being strict to the regime, it's about not missing those supplements I purposely ter"forget". Hihihi

Exercise:
It's not about keeping in shape, it's about keeping my nerves awake. Hello, hello, not time to go to sleep yet. Wakey, Wakey ..... please stay awake !!!

Good grooming:
It's not about looking good, it's about not scaring people looking like Nenek Kebayan atau Hantu dalam Hutan!!!

PRAYERS:
It's not about dying, it's about living to the fullest with Allah's blessings
& not forgetting to pray for the people I care about.

Karya Non Islamic - 1. Mimpi

2009-06-30T15:08:00.003+08:00

"Mana suami saya???"
Huh, berani-beraninya dia menyergah di khalayak ramai begini.
"Mana saya tahu ..."
"Dia tak balik malam tadi. Sophiee bilang dia ada dengan kamu"
Dia membentak. Sepertinya semua orang memerhati kami.
Malu saya menjadi bahagian dalam "drama" seperti ini.
"Ya, memang dia dengan saya malam tadi. Kami bincang sampai pukul 2 lebih. Lepas tu saya mengantuk, saya tidur. Saya tak tahu dia pergi mana.."
Dia diam. Di balik matanya ada kerisauan.
Apakah dia sedar, sebagaimana saya menyedari tentang dia, apa yang ada di balik mata saya? Kekalutan.
Setahu saya, malam tadi saya ngantuk, saya meringkuk baring atas sofa di beranda.
Masa bila saya masuk bilik?
Dan kehangatan malam tadi, apakah cuma mimpi? Atau benar-benar terjadi?
Lagu "Halo" berkumandang tiba-tiba.
"Hello"
"We need to talk .." Suara itu tegas.
"Your wife is looking for you ... shall I tell her you dah balik?"
"I nak jumpa you kat bilik." Semakin tegas
"Kita sambung perbincangan kita esok. Hari ni .. you spend your time with your wife, ok?"
Amat jelas kedengaran dia mendengus di sana.
Di sini, kelihatan wajah isterinya tersenyum. Kerisauannya hilang.
Saya yakin malam tadi bukan mimpi ... tapi bagaimana ia bisa terjadi?
Mengapa saya terlalu lalai menjaga diri??
Atau ... mungkinkah memang itu yang saya mahu??

Just An Option

2009-06-29T21:16:00.003+08:00

Don't Let Someone become a Priority in Your Life When You are Just an Option in Theirs
****************************************************************************
A dear fren sent me this tag.

I was just wondering .....
Since I am an option in everybody's lives
that means what ???

Friends & Motives - by Ali Yan (XCite Group)

2009-06-23T11:36:00.003+08:00

Friends are like eating from a box of chocolates, with your eyes closed, never know what you'll get! Actually, stick with the box of chocolates! Seriously, friends come on all different levels of connecting, from the friend you say hi to, to the one that is bonded to you under all circumstances.

Its a lot about positioning friends either close or just as hello friends. Being too close can create expectations that may not be forthcoming.

Few are even their own best friend and will likely treat you no better than they treat themselves.

Value friends and value acquaintances, through discernment consider which friends are better as acquaintances and which acquaintances are better as friends.

Be your own best friend and always find solace in that as people come and go throughout life leaving memories of joy and sometimes, disappointment.

Always know that many have motives for friendship and not all motives are bad, but some will prove to amount to false friendships once the motive, conscious or unconscious, is fulfillled or was an illusion anyway.

Those who open their hearts with no motives but sincere friendship become vulnerable to what may amount to vulture friends who pick at what satisfies them until they have no more need from that friendship.

Fair weather friends are as common as leaves on a tree that eventually turn color and fall off. As one loves oneself more, attracting fair weather friends becomes minimized.

Close friends are treasures to be valued. Lovers and relatives are best

Ongoing friends, some become acquaintances or even strangers as does happen with friends in general.

Often friends are for a time and place. They may open doors to gifts in the moment and may pave the way to a very different future.

Divine friends are found in all the many qualities of love, be it compassion, sensitivity, and all heartfelt blessings.

Tentang Bulan - About Frenship

2009-06-16T20:39:00.002+08:00

Bulan dan bintang
bersinar berkelipan
dan menerangi keindahan malam
tanpamu bulan malam kegelapan
tanpamu bintang hilanglah keindahan

Ini kisah tentang bulan
bulan bintang jadi kawan
begitulah persahabatan
yang cuba kami eratkan
moga berkekalan selamanya

Begitulah kami
hidup 5 sekawan
sesama berjanji
susah senang dirasa
di bawah sinaran cahaya bulan bintang
menjadi saksi janji kami semua .....

Dalam Hidup

2009-06-14T22:47:00.003+08:00

Dalam hidup
tidak saya harap menjadi jutawan
atau menjadi manusia yang dipuja
maupun kehidupan yang tersangat sempurna

Dalam hidup
kita punya kerabat & sahabat
yang kita percayai ke akhir hayat
juga yang kita percayai kemudian hilang kepercayaan kita padanya
tidak kurang yang langsung tidak kita percayai sejak dari mula

Dalam hidup
saya tersanjung andai saya menjadi sahabat yg pertama
tidak mengapa kalau menjadi pilihan yang ketiga
Nauzubillah drp menjadi sahabat yang kedua

Dalam hidup
saya berharap menjadi manusia berguna
pada agama, bangsa dan negara

What "Periodic Element" Are You???

2009-06-14T22:27:00.001+08:00

GOLD

You are true blue. You have the vibrant qualities of Helium but you are not superficial. Your qualities are real and very deep. You are loyal, trustworthy, ethical, all of the things a Boy Scout would be. You are of great value to those around you simply because you care and are there for them when they truly need help. Who can say something bad about you? Except those who are jealous..

Di mana dia "anak-anak" saya ???

2009-06-07T09:44:00.002+08:00

Waktu saya sampai di sekolah untuk Kelas Tambahan / Bengkel UPSR, saya nampak para pelajar
sdg berkumpul & Cikgu J ambil kedatangan mereka.
Bila saya turun dari pejabat, pelajar-pelajar semua dah mula beredar.

Ok ... mana "anak-anak" saya ???
Err ... di mana dia "anak-anak" saya ??

J : "Kak ... yg datang cuma ni saja - 15 org ...
tak pe lah ... rezki Akak, boleh rehat .."

Huh ??? Saya tak datang utk berehat ...
GB suruh saya datang utk bantu para pelajar yg lemah iaitu :
ajar mereka untuk perbetulkan kesilapan & perbaiki kelemahan mereka.

Akhirnya, setelah berunding, saya ambil semua pelajar lelaki - 3 org je ... ahaks
malangnya pelajar-pelajar ini BUKAN pelajar yg lemah ...
Walaupun dari segi pelajar itu sendiri, memanglah bagus utk mereka ... tapi dari segi pengajaran - pembelajaran & persediaan saya, saya terasa amat kesal.

Inilah yg Cik gu Z suarakan dulu, " saya takut budak2 tak datang je .."

Hemm .. kalau macam ni ... biar Cik gu jelah yg belajar & ambik periksa
Budak-budak boleh TIDO kat rumah !!!

APA NAK JADI DGN ANAK BANGSA KU ??
Gggrrr !!!

Sembang-sembang Cuti sekolah

2009-06-06T15:29:00.002+08:00

Aisyah merajuk sebab saya tak bagi dia pergi kedai sorang-sorang.

Bila Abahnya balik, saya pun beritahu,
"Anak Abah merajuk .. Ibu tak bagi dia pergi kedai sorang-sorang."
"Ehh ... tak boleh, tak boleh, tak boleh ... kang kena culik kang ..."
"Ha ... kan betul Ibu cakap ... mesti tak boleh !!!"

Siti Aisyah terus merajuk sampai tertido ...

Not That Type of lady

2009-06-06T00:58:00.002+08:00

It may be flattering at this age to still be able to catch people's attention
BUT really ...
there is a BIG difference between
attraction & being COMPLETELY MIANG !!!
kang aku bagi miang buluh tu kang ....

If you're thinking Demi Moore & Ashton Kuscher .. think again
Khalina Osman & ... what's your name again ??? .... DON"T FIT !!!

Maaf aka Sorry ... My Apologies

2009-06-05T20:09:00.005+08:00

I've been getting "HiHi" messages from strangers ( through my YM) &
I'm sorry for ignoring them.
The truth is I'm NOT "that" friendly ....
While I can chat comfortably with my fellow yahoo-group members, fellow bloggers,
eFrens who share the same interest/Cause with me, writers & poets,
it's actually NOT easy for me to chat with strangers outside that circle.

So when I get "Hihi" messages from strangers asking me to talk abt myself,
instead of going "gladly, TQ"
I'd go ... "Huh ... excuse me ???"
AND I'm not comfortable asking questions either .....
Sorry ....
My apologies for being cold ...

ALSO ... just because the frens I share my problems with are too busy to "be there" for me ...
it does NOT mean I can & will simply turn to another.
I'm NOT like that ....
It's NOT that easy for me to open up ...
The few frens I share my problems with will always remain those few ONLY
and if they're busy ... let them be busy ....
I wud rather keep my "story" to myself then turn to someone else ....
My apologies if this makes some people "angry"

If you think I'm cold ... selfish .... stubborn .. etc..etc.. etc... all the "what the heck things you've been calling me"
may be I am ....
BUT Allah swt knows me best & Allah swt knows why I am the way
I am ....

To my few frens ...
Thank you for your frenship
AND like my family, you are my life treasures.

Halo - Beyonce

2009-06-04T22:51:00.000+08:00

Sayu ... Sedih

2009-06-04T22:21:00.005+08:00

Bermula dengan rasa sayu
melawan perasaan itu
namun tidak jua ia pergi
malah semakin parah

Sayu bertukar sedih
airmata mula mengalir
dalam solat ... dalam sujud
mengadu pada Tuhan
memohon bantuan
moga-moga sedihku berlalu

Sedih bukan kerana terluka
bukan kerana kecewa
bukan sengsara atau merana
sedih cuma kerana dia

Mudah-mudahan selamat dan bahagia di sana

Doaku buat mu selalu .. dengan izin & restu Allah swt.

Di bawah lindungan Tuhan

2009-06-04T15:55:00.007+08:00

Firasat aku mengatakan sesuatu
yang amat memilukan hati
meratap aku bersembunyi dalam "kelambu" illahi
sayu hati mengadu pada Yang Paling Mengerti
tabahkan hati, pasrah menerima ketentuan
namun, tiada tertahan jua airmata
bagai hujan turun membasahi bumi

Andai benar firasat ini ...
apakah maknanya tiada restu dariMU
atau mungkinkah batas kasih terlalu rapuh
apakah mengundang petaka jika disatukan
wajar dikurung dalam "naungan"
agar sayang tetap di bawah peliharaan
lindungan cinta kasih & sayang Tuhan

I miss you very much !!!

My .. whatever

2009-06-04T11:21:00.003+08:00

There are so many things I want to write about
things on my mind ....

sebenarnya byk benda yg bermain dalam kepala
byk benda yg terfikir ...
ttg kematian, ttg kesihatan, ttg perasaan, ttg keimanan ....

a) Kematian : akhir-akhir ni asyik terkenangkan Arwah Kak Yam & Atok
Kak Yam yg selalu tegur : "tgk tu .. asyik tersenyum aje ..."
Atok yg selalu suka bila Ina balik kampung
Sekarang ni nenek pun mula menghargai bila Ina balik jenguk dia ... :-)

b) Kesihatan : knowing that i need to take care of my health & yet
I'm like ... : "i can't be bothered with this ..."
I know i will pay the price for this .....

c) Perasaan : my emotion - I'll get back to this

d) Keimanan - I must keep on trying to better but as
an ordinary person I think I'm ok spiritually

OK ... back to c) ... bagaimana harus aku katakan ??
Bukan tak happy dgn suami, anak-anak & famili serta para sahabat
HAPPY !!! BAHAGIA !!!
Tapi .. ada sesuatu yg mengikat "kebahagiaan" itu sehingga ia tersisa 2 /3
Yang 1/3 lagi akan saya perolehi mungkin di kemudian hari ......
dengan izin Allah swt, Amin.

Hati

2009-06-03T11:37:00.000+08:00

Perasaan kasih dalam hati anugerah Allah swt ...
terbuka, tertutup pintu hati atas izin dari NYA
Yang tersirat dalam hati Allah swt paling mengetahui ...
biar berahsia bagaimana sekalipun pada manusia, tidak mungkin dapat
berahsia dari DIA

Maka aku mohon restu Allah swt pada setiap yang tersirat dalam hati
samada yg diketahui manusia maupun yang cuma diketahui oleh DIA
aku mohon dilindungi semoga hatiku tetap bersih & suci
ikhlas mengasihi demi PENCIPTA yg MAHA MEMAHAMI ...
segalanya insyaAllah .....

Ya Rabb, aku mohon ...
perkenankanlah.

English Teacher Speaking Manglish

2009-05-13T16:59:00.001+08:00

Who says it's easy to teach in Primary Schools??
or more specifically who says it's easy to teach Year 1 & 2's???
I say NOT !!!
Teaching as simply teaching the students to read & write may be easy BUT
teaching as in making them understand what they are reading & writing IS NOT as easy
as it looks.
Educating is even tougher.

As always ... the issue :-
"Kenapa "tinggalkan" kelas Thn 1?"
"Entah diaorang"
"Thn 1 nilah diaorang nak belajar yg asas; kalau tertinggal yg asas macammmana nak
ajar yg lain???"
"Itulah ..."
"Tak lama lagi nak periksa kan ???"
"Ha ah ..."
"Hemm ...
OKlah, akak cuba .... "
In 6 days I'm supposed to push these students to learn everything that they have been left behind
So don't complain & say Cik gu Khalina "dera" budak-budak.

They need to learn,
they need to be educated (mind you, some still does not know how to say "Thank you" & "excuse me" properly)
& most of all, they need to have fun while doing so ....
afterall they are still young ... & lovely .... & ssooo 'manja' children

"Cikgu, cikgu dia ejek saya bodoh"; "Cik gu, cik gu dia ambik pemadam saya " "Cikgu, cik gu ..."
Err ... Cik gu wants to pengsan now... can or not???
KAPLUNK !!!

Dalam Tawa

2009-05-10T12:09:00.001+08:00

Dalam tawa
ada duka
ada deraian airmata
dalam hati, cuma

Tawa pada dzahir
menutupi luka
menyembunyi kecewa
pada bathin, hanya

Tawa dan senyum
bagai topeng
umpama lilin membakar diri
yang menyedari, diri sendiri, tentu
yang mengetahui, illahi, pasti

So What

2009-05-01T16:23:00.000+08:00

Love story

2009-05-01T15:49:00.000+08:00

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standing there

on a balcony in summer air

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
See you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase, begging you please don't go
And I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes,

let's leave this town for a little while
Oh, oh

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me, I was begging you please don't go
And I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby just say yes

Romeo save me they're tryna tell me how to feel
this love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story, baby just say yes

I got tired of waiting

wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I'll keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said

Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad you'll pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say yes
Oh, oh, oh

We were both young when I first saw you

2 am in the Morning - NKOTB

2009-05-01T10:43:00.000+08:00

Pilu dan Rindu

2009-05-01T09:31:00.004+08:00

Rindu bagai belenggu

berselirat jadi urat

pilu bagai sembilu

menular jadi akar

Akar dan urat bercantum satu

pilu dan rindu bercambah

jadi darah

mengalir di segenap ruang dan liang

meresap

Hilang ???

sirna dek cahaya

BAHAGIA menerima cinta dari DIA

Invisible & Dispensable

2009-03-10T23:07:00.002+08:00

Invisible,
I walk in this corner of the earth
no one notices me

I listen to your voices
see the things you do, everyday
I've tried
to say the things I wanted to say
do the things I wanted to do
and yet ..

I'm alone & invisible
you don't care
perhaps ...
to you, I am dispensable

Cuma aku

2009-02-28T22:19:00.002+08:00

Akukah sahaja?
yang begitu terkesan
dengan apa yang telah terjadi
dan persahabatan yang semakin dingin ...

Apakah cuma aku?
yang menghargai sebuah persahabatan
yang dulu terjalin
di atas izin Tuhan

atau Tuhan mengambil semula persahabatan kita?
sehingga kita kembali saling tidak mengenali

Gaduh ngan Cik gu ..

2009-02-18T17:06:00.002+08:00

Kenapa asyik tanya "BILAlah mentality ibu bapa akan berubah???
Kita kan ibu ( & bapa) .. kalau OUR mentality dah berubah ..
why not start with us???
WE have the power to make a change .. WE stop the cycle ...
Kenapa masih nak buat referance pd ibubapa yg dah buat silap who "turn their child into robots"?

It is OUR duty to NOT repeat their mistakes.
It is OUR duty to STRESS to our children that
i) education is NOT about getting A's
ii) it's not abt how many A's they get
iii) NOT abt turning into robots who can't think for themselves

Education is all abt
i) getting new knowledge
ii) learning skills
iii) learning how to interact with others
iv) learning abt responsibilities, etc..etc..
Each parents may add or deduct as they see fit.

So let's play OUR role ..
WE play our role as parents who educate our children into critical thinkers
& human beings with virtues.
We each may have different methods to go about it.
What is important is our method is effective for our own children & our objectives
are the same : that is to create future generations who are critical thinkers & muslims/human beings who are steadfast in virtues.

And about the statement below:-
"masalah ummat perlu di tangani bersama, dan bukanlah di antara kalangan ummat nabi muhd s.a.w, org yg tidak memikirkan masalah ummat. to me this issue cannot be isolated from all the other issues related to it: the mentality of the parents, the cost of living, the illusion of security n comfort of material wealth, etc. therefore, perubahan yg nak di buat bermula dgn diri sendiri dan keluarga sendiri dan pembaikan juga turut cuba di sebarkan kpd org lain."

Sedapnya mulut engkau nak imply org bukan ummat Muhammad saw.
Ko ingat ko sorang je ke memikirkan masalah ummat?
And did I say isolate the issue?
I said :
i) don't bother abt other ppl - meaning : Yang kita duk sibuk cerita pasal org lain, org tu buat gitu, org ni buat gini, semua yg org buat semuanya salah. Diri sendiri, macamana?
Tak "bergerak"pun ... masih kat situ jugak
THAT's why I said "Don't bother abt other ppl" meaning "jgn asyik sibuk pasal hal org lain, asyik jaga tepi kain org sedangkan diri sendiri pun tak buat apa-apa yg positif"
DON'T wait to start & do something positive.
ii) STOP pointing figures at mistakes of the past
The past is history ... so are we going to let "history repeats itself" ?
Don't we want to stop the mistakes from repeating itself?
Then we have to start NOW!
Don't just talk .. take action !

Tenggelam

2009-02-12T12:02:00.003+08:00

Tidak berani menyatakan secara terang
lantas saya ungkapkan dalam tersirat
malangnya tidak difahami
malah mengundang amarah
dan saya ...
terus kelemasan

Lelah menongkah arus
nada amarah bertukar benci
kalau begini ...
Ya ALLAH ...
biarkanlah saya tenggelam

Emotionally I feel like someone who is unable to move,
who got hurt
who tries to cry out for help
unfortunately no one understood my cries
so I'm left alone
slowly bleeding to death

Physically ... to die like that is VERY scary ... Nauzubillah
May Allah guide me thru this .... Amin.

Quotes That Make You Go .. YES, That's TRUE !!!

2009-02-10T12:31:00.001+08:00

"The size of the future you actually experience will largely be determined by one factor:
The people you choose to connect with.
When you invite people who are truly committed to growth into every aspect of your life, your own potential for growth becomes truly unlimited."
Dan Sullivan

There are two primary choices in life:
to accept conditions as they exist,
or accept the responsibility for changing them.
Denis Waitley

You are today where your thoughts have brought you;
you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.
James Allen

What's Wrong With ME???

2009-02-08T15:56:00.002+08:00

What's Wrong With You?

Result: Too Friendly

You're very open with people, which is great, but sometimes those people are wearing brass knuckles, which is not great.

You tend to think that people are generally good at heart, and because of that, you're very trusting.
People are drawn to your positive attitude and you tend to make friends easily.
(You might also be a little vain, but hey, who could blame you? You're a good-looking individual, and you have a right to be a little cocky about it.)
Err ... not sure abt being vain & good looking

So where could you go wrong?
Well, if you're too friendly, you might not be on alert for those folks you really shouldn't trust.
So try to use more caution when you meet new people.

Ikhas Dalam Persahabatan

2009-02-06T09:39:00.005+08:00

Ikhlas dalam persahabatan, maknanya :-

i) menerima sahabat kita seadanya
ii) walaupun berbeda pendapat, macam A dgn Z atau utara dgn selatan,
timur dgn barat, hitam ngan putih ... anjing ngan kucing ...
harimau ngan ... err, etc, etc, etc ....
kita masih menghormatinya sebagai sahabat dan menghargai persahabatannya
iii) kita tidak mengharapkan dia melakukan yg sama meaning
you don't expect him/ her/them to do the same (THAT is the english translation of the sentence )

Yang paling sukar antara yg tiga itu adalah hal yg ketiga kerana setiap kali kita bersahabat
memang sering kali kita mengharapkan :-
a) kalau kita menerima dia seadanya, kita mahu dia juga menerima kita seadanya
b) kalau kita menghormati dia, dia juga menghormati kita
c) dan kalau kita menghargai persahabatannya, dia juga menghargai persahabatan kita

Alhamdulillah ... setelah sekian lama saya cuba mencapai tahap yg ketiga itu, akhirnya kini
saya berjaya .......
Alhamdulillah & Syukur pada Allah

All the best to my frens ...

I do have a "journey" & a "mission" to complete
It does not matter if no one understands me
& that I "travel" alone ...........
for only Allah knows me best.

(Lagipun dulu Mother Teresa pun tak tahu cakap India ... hehaha... Oops!!)

And may Allah guide me thru my "journey" & help me complete my "mission"
and most of all, make it a successful one
dan bukan sekadar angan-angan mat jenin.
InsyaAllah, Amin.

My Aisyah and Ayam Masak Kelabu

2009-02-05T11:21:00.001+08:00

Few days ago,

"Na, Aisyah kata dia makan Ayam Masak Kelabu ..."
Huh?
Wah, got Ayam Masak Kelabu ha ... ?
Hemm ... so if we go by that system ... we'll have Ayam Masak Merah, Ayam Masak Kuning, Ayam Masak Hitam, Ayam Masak Coklat, Ayam Masak Hijau ....
Gee ... such colourful dishes !!!

Today Aisyah is down with fever ... sleeping with my night gown over her body
Nak bau ibu .... :-(

Beauty within

2009-01-31T18:10:00.004+08:00

The beauty of a person,
no matter who they are
Can only be measured,
by the goodness of heart
For some the exterior may be rough and weathered
but their true beauty only shines all the better

I've met folks that have the beauty and the bodies
but hearts cold as steel, caring for nobody
Then there are the ones, no matter their looks
would give a smile, a word, a part of themselves
to help one less fortunate than they
and expect nothing in return

Thank you to all these beautiful people
for being there, helping point the way
It's that inner beauty that shines forth from you
It shows in everything you say and do

For I have never heard you ever condemn
Even the smallest and weakest of men
For all that you see you carry a smile
To those that receive it, it lasts for miles

And so it is that true beauty must begin
Not from without, but only from within
The giving of oneself so selflessly
That the whole world can see the beauty in thee

Shared by Sarah fr XCite group.

I wish people talk of peace not of war ....
I wish people talk of beauty not horror
I wish people be sweet not bitter
I wish I can end this frustration & sorrow

30 th Jan

2009-01-30T20:55:00.002+08:00

Hahahaha ...
or should I go Sob ! Sob! Sob!
just when I'm down to my last kilo ....
1 week holiday & I'm up again
Mana taknya ...

i) Baru je lepas makan tengah hari ... Hang Suami masuk rumah &
"Jom, jom"
"Hah ... nak gi mana?"
"Khenduri rumah En Rahim.."
"Lla ... baru je makan tgh hari ..."
"Alah ... jamah sikit aje ..."
Mau dia sikit .... this is no typical Pahang khenduri ...
This is a combination of Phg, Johor & Singapore .. so jamah sedikit jadik jamah tiga dikit,
3 negeri lah katakan ..... Mmm....lazatnya !!!
ii) "Ibu, nak??"
Fulamak .... Potato Chip
So the very "No, No" dalam alam dieting
tapi Ahmad Shuib punya style, kalau tak ambik, dia kata tak sudi ...
silap haribulan kang dia merajuk
Alah ... tibai je lah ..... Yummmy !!!
iii) Hang Suami lagi ... balik dari masjid &
"siapa nak mee ...."
Alahai ... GO .. DA ... AN !!!

Ok ... yes, I admit ... ALASAN !!!
So there goes my diet for a week ...
& I'm back to double up fitness routine again ...
Padan mukaku !!!
Adoi !!! ... patah pinggang ...
If not for the music ... i'd give this up, PERIOD !!!

15 Jan

2009-01-20T16:24:00.006+08:00

15 Jan .. that is to say ... I shud have written this on the 15th

i) Alhamdulillah I'm down to 51 kg. ... 1 final kg to go
OR I can try achieving 48 kg (my wt b4 I got married) ... flutter, flutter, flutter
Hemm ... I'll see

ii) Ahmad Shuib is in the Sc stream ... he wants that
BUT not exactly in the sch of his first choice.
Give him a mth then I'll ask him if he's happy there .... double hemmm
b) Zahra attended SPBI's interview yesterday with a swollen eye
She was sick during UPSR & miraculously got 5A
So I hope it will be another miracle & she gets a place ... for her sake
coz she's sulking & very unhappy with the current sch ... triple hemm
c) Sulaiman targets to complete his hafazan this year,
Hajar needs to accept Shuib's challenge & Aisyah .... ???
Aisyah is embracing this "boycotte the Israel's product" thingy, not just wholeheartedly
but with immediate effect!!! She used to drink Milo when she comes back fr sch
Today I asked if she wants her Milo & she said,"NO, boycotte Milo" Aiyo ....
So who's going to finish the Milo we bought loooonng b4 the recent boycotte
campaign ??
Double triple hemmm

iii) Still keeping in touch with my frens.
Alhamdulillah ... i'm still able to keep in touch with my frens although not as often as b4.
Pasti ada hikmah di sebaliknya ....

Semoga Allah merestui perjalanan hidupku & dilimpahiNYA dgn keberkatan. Amin.

1 Jan 2009

2009-01-01T12:42:00.006+08:00

Tekad 2009 ...
i) get my health back on track ... supplements, supplements & more supplements
Hemm .. ni yg nak muntah ni
ii) get my priorities in order :-
first : my responsiblities to God & my family,
second : my job,
third: me own well-being & satisfaction
iii) keeping in touch with my frens ... but must remember :-
Adab bersahabat :
3 kali menyapa
kalau org tak menyahut
dipersilakan beredar ....
Jangan hidung tak mancung, pipi tersorong-sorong
kecuali dia ada sebab yg munasabah utk tidak menyahut
spt. : dia sakit ke, dia pergi bercuti ke .....
Yg penting: No matter how, no matter what, walaupun mereka menyombongkan diri,
walaupun mereka ignore me, I'll be there for them whenever they need me.
Ikut resmi pohon yg rendang dan lebat buahnya,
dibaling org dgn batu, dibalas ia dgn buah

Inna solati wanusuki wa mah iyaya wa mamati lillahi rabbil'alamin
Semoga hidupku dalam keberkatan & rahmatNYA, insyaAllah. Amin

Rahsia

2008-12-31T12:49:00.001+08:00

Yang terbaca tidak serupa yang dilihat
Yang terlihat tidak sama yang dipendam
Yang Maha Melihat maha mengetahui
apa yang bakal terjadi
segala yang nyata dan tersembunyi
sekalipun
rahsia yang terbenam di lubuk hati

New Year .. End of the Year

2008-12-30T21:55:00.003+08:00

Sekarang ni dah 2 Muharram .. maknanya tahun baru Hijrah dah bermula : 1430H
Dalam masa yang sama tahun Masihi menuju ke arah penghujungnya.
Selamat tinggal TM 2008.
Apakah yg telah berlaku dlm hidup saya pada tahun 2008 ni???
Macam-macam ...
Yang paling terkesan bagi saya:-
i) perselisihan faham dgn sahabat baik (w/p cuma an eFren saya tetap menganggap dia sahabat baik) ... saya tidak mahu hal itu berulang lagi tapi perlukah sampai takut meluahkan pendapat??
Bukankah itu adat di dalam persahabatan?? Bukankah perbezaan pendapat mewarnai sebuah ukhuwah sehingga ia menjadi utuh dan unik kerana w/p pendapat berbeda, saya menerima sahabat saya seadanya. If only ... if only our frenship se"mesra" dulu ....
ii) kematian ... lepas seorang seorang saudara meninggal. Yang rapat ... bermula dgn anak buah, Syafiq, lepas tu Mak Long Gombak, kakak sulong emak saya dan lepas tu Long, abang ipar suami. Kecuali Mak Long, yang dua lagi tu memang tak disangka.
Arwah Mak Long memang dah lama sakit. Penyakit Long cuma dikesan dlm bln Ramadhan.
Dia meninggal dalam masa sebulan rawatan sedangkan doktor kata 7-8 bln. Tapi iyelah kan, doktor bukan Tuhan!!! Syafiq mmg meninggal mengejut sebab dia meninggal akibat kemalangan jln-raya. If I may choose, kalau Tuhan beri pilihlah, which I know is definitely impossible .... but I wud rather die macam Long whereby I know I'm dying & saya meninggal tanpa sempat menyusahkan org merawat saya terlantar sakit berbulan-bulan.
Sehari dua bolehlah org merawat, kalau dah berbulan, org mula mencaci maki.... kebanyakannya begitu so lebih baiklah "pergi" sebelum saya bedridden.
iii) my getaway dgn suami, walaupun cuma 2 hari satu malam, it was real special to me
iv) my children, Aisyah, Zahra & Shuib, ketiga-tiganya demam waktu periksa.
Bagi Zahra & Shuib, masing-masing periksa UPSR & PMR.
Tak sangka mereka berjaya mencapai apa yg mereka inginkan. Zahra 5A, Shuib 9A
Aisyah pun tak nak kalah ...."Ichah dapat semua A"
HeHeHe .... iyelah tu Syah
Hajar & Sulaiman je yg tak demam masa periksa ... Hajar dpt 5A (Peperiksaan Akhir Thn)
& Sulaiman peperiksaan Hafazan 20 juz.

Tahun Baru Hijrah ini apa yang saya inginkan ialah :-
i) semoga saya sihat & mendapat rezki yg halal,
agar saya dapat terus memberi sumbangan kpd MAKNA sehingga ke akhir hayat saya &
saya dapat pergi ke Makkah
ii) Semoga Allah swt terus memberi hidayah pada anak-anak, suami & saya agar kami berjaya di dunia & akhirat
DAN
iii) agar Allah swt merestui persahabatan saya.
Hanya Allah swt yg tahu apa yg bakal terjadi, apakah tahun 1430H & 2009TM akan memberi sesuatu yg bererti buat saya .. apakah sinar hidup saya semakin gemilang??? Allahualam
Walau apapun, biarlah hidup saya dalam keberkatanMU, Ya Allah. Lindungi & sayangilah saya ..... Amin.

It's Not Me

2008-12-15T00:20:00.002+08:00

Ni entah yg ke berapa kali .......
The "down" feeling buat Ina rasa mungkin dah tiba masa Ina utk pergi ....
rupa-rupanya orang lain yg kena "panggil"

Entah kenapa juga masa mengemas utk balik hari tu .. Ina cenderung nak pilih tema hitam.
So semua baju anak-anak dan suami bertemakan warna hitam atau kelabu
Rupa-rupanya Aidil Adha kami disambut dgn majlis tahlil & berkabung.
Biras Sulong meninggal pada 2.25 am, 8 Nov 2008.
Tak sangka dia pergi begitu cepat sbb doktor kata 7 - 8 mths.
Walau bagaimana pun kami redha dgn pemergian dia sebab dia pergi dgn tenang .. kiranya penderitaan dia tidak lama.
Arwah yg bantu biaya persekolahan suami di London sebelum suami dapat biasiswa KP
justeru itu suami Ina mmg terhutang budi dgn dia.
Ina juga terhutang budi dgn Arwah sbb dia yg datang bersama rombongan meminang
sewaktu Ina dirisik (sekaligus bertunang) oleh keluarga suami.
Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat illahi.

Gara-gara kejadian ini Ina memasuki skim sumbangan derma ke Tabung MAKNA melalui Maybank.
Ina niatkan setiap kali mereka deduct utk derma itu, ia adalah di atas 4 nama :-
nama Ina & suami, nama Kak Ida ( my eldest sister) sbb Kak Ida yg bantu bukakan akaun simpanan Maybank dan nama sahabat yg paling ku ingat & hargai ( insyaAllah sekalipun kalau dia dah melupakan Ina) sbb dialah yg selalu mengalakkan Ina menderma (Well ... he didn't say it just to me ... he says to everyone in the group but it was him who gave me the idea ... walaupun sedikit kata dia)
Mudah-mudahan .... kami mendapat rahmat dariNYA
Amin.

Allah swt Knows

2008-12-04T17:17:00.002+08:00

Allah swt knows that :-
there's something wrong with me lately
physically, emotionally & mentally
Physically - I don't feel THAT healthy
Emotionally - I'm not THAT happy
Mentally - I'm not focus. I couldn't concentrate on the work I'm doing
My mind keeps wandering off ......

Semangatku "hilang" lagi .....
hanya ALLAH swt yang tahu kenapa
pada DIA aku mengadu & menangis ....
Andainya sudah tiba masanya
izinkan aku pergi sebagai mukmin.
Dengan izinMU Ya Allah, Amin.

Semoga mereka mendapat pengganti yang lebih baik dariku.

Advices from Ash- Shaafi'ee

2008-12-04T16:59:00.005+08:00

Ash-Shaafi’ee (rahimahullaah) said:
“Knowledge is that which benefits not that which is memorised”

Sincerity
*************
Ash-Shaafi’ee (rahimahullaah) said:
“If one of you were to strive with utmost striving to make all the people pleased with him then there is no way for him (i.e. he’ll never be able to do that).
So let the servant purify his actions which are between him and Allaah Ta’aala.”

And he also said,
“No-one knows Riyaa (showing-off, insincerity etc) except the sincere ones.”

Silence, Love and Honour
***********************
Muraaqabah of the Tongue
Ash-Shaafi’ee (rahimahullaah) was asked regarding an issue (mas’alah).
It was said to him: “Will you not answer, may Allaah have mercy on you!
He said: “(No), Until I know the benefit and virtue in either my silence or in my answer.”

Love and Love
*******************
Ash-Shaafi’ee (rahimahullaah) said:
“Whoever claims to have gathered in his heart the love of this world and the love of its Creator (Allaah), has indeed lied.”

Ash-Shaafi’ee (rahimahullaah) said:
“Whoever is not honoured by Taqwa, then there is no honour for him.”

Nobility & Salvation
**********************
Beware of the love of people
****************************
“Be silent in that era as it moves along
And regarding the mortals, flee from their monastery
And wash your hands from the occasion and its people
And be cautious of their love whereby you reach their goodness
I explored but did not find a companion
To befriend through life and befriend no-one but he
So I abandoned the lowest of them due to the excess of his evil
And I abandoned the loftiest of them due the shortage of his goodness.”

Oppressor of his own self
***************************
Ash-Shaafi’ee (rahimahullaah) said:
“The one who oppresses himself the most is:
The one who humbles himself for one who does not honour him
And strives in the friendship of one who does not benefit him
And accepts praise from one who does not know him”ه

Companion of desires
********************
“If I saw a companion of his own desires even walk on water, I would not accept him.”

With the people of obedience
*****************************
“There is no-one except that he has a lover and a hater. So if that must be the case, then let a person be with the people of obedience to Allaah, ‘azza wa jall.”

Arts of ‘Ilm
*************
The virtues of the people of Hadeeth
Imaam Ash-Shaafi’ee (rahimahullaah) said:
“If I saw a man from the people of hadeeth, then it’s as if I saw a man from the Companions of the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam). May Allaah reward them, they preserved for us the foundation so they have a right of virtue upon us.”

He said: “Upon you is (to accompany) the people of hadeeth for they are the most correct from amongst the people.”

Goodness is in five
******************
He (rahimahullaah) said:
Goodness is in 5 matters:
- Richness of the soul
- Resistance from harm
- Earning halaal
- Taqwa
- And trust in Allaah

Pleasure of the people
*************************
Seeking the pleasure of people is an objective that can never be obtained
And there is no way to safety from the tongues of people
So upon you is to adhere to only that which benefits you.

Sincerity in Knowledge
*********************
Whoever desires the Hereafter then upon him is sincerity in knowledge

The Art of knowledge
**********************
Whoever learns Qur’aan, then his value becomes great
Whoever speaks in Fiqh (learns it), his capacity grows
Whoever writes ahadeeth, his evidence strengthens
Whoever examines into language, his nature softens
Whoever contemplates the reckoning, his opinion becomes sound
And whoever does not protect himself, his knowledge does not benefit him

The Slanderer
***************
Whoever slanders to you about others, will slander about you
And whoever reports to you, will soon report about you

My Treasured Frens

2008-12-03T15:34:00.011+08:00

i) 'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.' (Bukan kita je yg ada masalah)
ii) Be kind to the people you meet in your way 'up'. You will never know who you will meet on your way 'down' ... (Mungkin kita akan bertembung semula dengan mereka yang pernah kita sakiti)
iii)A sharp tongue can cut your own throat... (Even the fish in the deep ocean get caught becoz it opens it's mouth) Kata yang kesat lebih tajam dari mata pedang dan hati yang terluka sukar diubati. Manusia sering lupa kebaikan yang dibuat tapi tidak kata-kata yang kesat dan kesalahan/kejahatan/ penganiayaan. Sampai mati pun orang akan ingat
iv) Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important..... Orang yang beriman itu adalah orang yang apabila kita pandang, hati akan berasa tenang
v) The best vitamin for making friends..... B1. ... What you give is what you get.. so, perlakukan orang sebagaimana kita ingin diperlakukan.
vi) The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
vii)The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.... Dendam, Busuk Hati, Dengki hanya menambahkan beban/ sarat di hati yang digalas dalam perjalanan hidup.
viii) One thing you can give and still keep is your word.
ix) You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself.
x) If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished. The greatest mistake one can make is to fear that one will make one thus nothing gets off to a start. Remember, Nothing venture, Nothing gain
xi) One thing you can't recycle is wasted time. Remember sumpah Tuhan dengan masa seperti di dalam Suratul 'Asr
xii) Ideas won't work unless 'you' do. Kata Imam Ghazali : Ilmu tanpa amal adalah sia-sia. Amal tanpa ilmu adalah orang gila.
xiii) Your mind is like a parachute....it functions only when open. Kita tidak tahu serba serbi. Kita hanya akan dapat menambah ilmu dengan berfikiran terbuka. Kita tak selalunya benar dan orang lain tak semestinya salah
xiv) Jangan takut pada gelapnya malam (musibah dan ujian Tuhan)... kerana hanaya di sebelah malam kita dapat menyaksikan keindahan sinar bintang dan bulan yang memancar
xv) The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what you might have been.

xvi) Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. THEY R NOT WORTH UR THOUGHT. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. We cannot change people, but we can change ourselves.

xvii) Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong.
Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late. I don't want to let that happen

To all my treasured friends, you have 'light' me up & touched my life one way or another. For that , I thank you....

I promise I will not bore you or wear you down anymore !!!

PEACE

2008-12-02T22:13:00.003+08:00

I NEVER like talking about things that I cannot do anything about
I prefer talking about things I can act upon ....

While we can't do anything about peace in Palestine / in Sudan /in Congo
& everywhere else in this world,
there are some things we CAN act on like sign the petition, or the letter calling for
peace or for leaders to take action like the ones AVAAZ & Amnesty International
had been doing.
If you have more, you can even chip in on a much needed donation.

While I can't do anything about corruption, I CAN do my part
by making the official calls /complaints, rather than complain behind people's back.
Of course while they ( the person I call / complain to) promise to take action, I
really can't do anything much about the delays.
I mean like for example, someone's sijil pengesahan taraf took a round trip around Malaysia
before it reached the final destination.
How else do you explain the one month delay after being told that it's ready.
Hemm .... I MUST do more here.

While I can't do anything about weird practises by so called ulamaks, I CAN
educate my children, my family & myself to be aware of such wrong doings & NOT make
the mistake of believing / trusting/ having faith in such ulamaks.
Most importantly my children who are going to make the next generation must be able to
recognise such wrongdoers who claim themselves to be ulamaks & must be able to
either stop such wrongful practises by hand or simply stop them from spreading by word of mouth; amar maaruf nahi mungkar.

How we project ourselves is the BEST method of spreading the true Islam so I would start by ME ... I am a muslim trying my best to be a mukmin :-
i) The best among mukmins are the ones who are well behaved
ii) who maintains the ties of kith and kinship
iii) who remains istiqamah in any religious duty even if it's the simplest.

I have faith in Allah swt. & only HE can guide me, insyaALLAH.
Cukuplah Allah bagiku .... Amin.

Exercise, exercise, exercise !!!

2008-11-29T10:55:00.002+08:00

I'm trying to incorporate these dance moves into my exercise routine
so exercise becomes more fun to do ....
Hemm ... anyone wants to join me ???

My Life is NOT about ME

2008-11-29T10:18:00.003+08:00

My life is not about me ....
it's about giving my best, trying my best & striving for the best.

Giving my best to the people I love
Trying my best to be a mukmin Allah loves
Striving for the best in life in This World & The Hereafter.

May Allah swt guide me .... Amin.

Contagious !!!

2008-11-29T09:50:00.003+08:00

I was in the toilet & I heard him go, " La ilahaillallah ... bodoh ... BODOH"
& I thot "kesian mamat world class football player dapat pangkat bodoh"

Then later while watching an update on the best & worst goal, I find myself going ...
"Ya Allah, ya tuhanku ..... itupun dia tak boleh nak goal ... so STU..." Err .. Bite my toungue !!!
Oops !!! I almost join the bandwagon ...
Really this "STUPID.... BODOH" thingy is very contagious
I must make sure I do not get infected.
And I don't even know what offside means.

Alhamdulillah

2008-11-28T15:58:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah,
terima kasih Allah
atas izinMU, kami bersahabat
atas izinMU, kami berbalah
atas izinMU, kami saling memaafkan
dan atas izinMU juga
tali persahabatan ini kembali pulih.

Tidak akan ku ulangi lagi kesilapan di masa lalu
tidak akan ku ulangi lagi kebodohan diriku
tidak akan ku ulangi lagi menyakiti hati seorang sahabat,
insyaAllah, dengan izinMU Allah
akan selalu aku ingat.

Maafkan Diri Ini

2008-11-27T15:45:00.003+08:00

Tudung periuk, tudung periuk
pandai menari
menarilah lagu, menarilah lagu
putera mahkota
kainlah yang buruk, kain yang buruk
berikan kami
buat menyapu, buat menyapu
si airmata .....

Ya Allah, my fren is as important to me as my husband.
I got my husband back but I lost my treasured fren. :-(
The pain and sadness is just as bad .......
Ya Allah ... ENGKAUlah yang Maha Tahu

Maafkan Diri Ini !!!

2008-11-26T15:49:00.003+08:00

Diri telah melakukan suatu kekhilafan yang menyebabkan sebuah ukhuwah yang terbina mulai menemui keretakan. Diri ini mulai sadar akan erti sebuah persahabatan yang ditunjukkan oleh seorang insan berhati mulia bernama sahabat. Maafkan kerana tidak menyedari apa yang telah terjadi di atas kebodohan diriku sendiri, yang telah menghilangkan sinaran sahabat sejati yang ku inginkan dan hampir ku capai. Namun atas kebodohan diri ini menyebabkan ia terlepas dari genggaman yang belum kuat memegang tali persahabatan.

Lupakan yang lalu, marilah kita bina semula ukhuwah yang sudah musnah dan perbaiki tali persahabatan yang terputus kerana persahabatan ini boleh diperbaiki dan jika kita menjagainya pasti ia tidak akan rosak seperti komputer yang begitu banyak menyimpan memori indah. Berikanlah semula sinar sahabat yang sudah malap.

MAAFKAN DIRI INI !!!

Mengapa sedih banget ???

2008-11-22T16:04:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah, kenapa saya sedih banget ni .. sampai terisak-isak dalam mimpi?
Eh, I know lar this one bukan alamat .. this one bukan mainan tido either
just my inner feelings (that I have been suppressing) showing it's ugly face.

Ya Allah, mengapa saya sedih begini ?
I guess my unconscious self was trying to tell me how much i treasure a frenship
even if it's only an eFrenship ... BUT then my conscious self already know that !!!
So .. while the conscious self was trying not to cry, the unconscious self just decided to let it all out
Waa!!!
Eh, silap ... terisak-isak: Sob! Sob! Sob! ... bukan meraung !!!

Ya saya tahu, Pekan not suppose to banjir yet ...

Our Getaway - For us !!!

2008-11-21T11:50:00.002+08:00

This was our getaway for 2 days & 1 nite minus the children.

Alhamdulillah. Since the initial problem was more emotional than physical, all we needed was an emotional resolution.
We're moving on for US!!!.
It does not need for him to be dead for me to be happy or for me to be dead for him to be happy, we're both still alive & kicking & we ARE happy.
We had a romantic time at the beach, under the stars. Though the sound of the waves was quite scary, (it's the start of the Monsoon season) I felt safe and peaceful being with him.
Conclusion : It was a good getaway.
We'll try to do this more often. For me, personally, once a year pun cukup. (It really does not take much to please me.)

BUT of course we had a little inevitable interruption ... that every one hour call from Aisyah.
"Ibu buat apa? ... Abah buat apa??.... Ibu dgn Abah kat mana???"
Aiyo .... kacau only... hehehe.

I Need A Fren

2008-11-20T10:36:00.003+08:00

What I really need is different from what's written
on the card.
I just need the following :-

I need A Fren
I can trust
A fren who is willing to help me through the worst,
walk alongside me,
correct me when I'm wrong,
A fren I can learn from
A fren who is willing to be my fren till the end

*********************************
My fren,

Shall we walk together?
May I learn from you?
Will you correct me when I'm wrong
or pull me up when I fall?
Or are you going to leave me behind when I could not keep up with you???